I'm posting from the iPhone, so I'm link-challenged for the moment. But if you go over to Nina/Christina's Flibbertigibbet! site (permanently linked at right), you'll see a clip from a TV show she likes.
In the clip, a woman storms into a guy's office and says indignantly, "I slept with the ne'er-do-well heir to the Fahrquahr humate fortune. I just thought you should know."
And then guy gets all angsty and tells her he's not going to let her walk away from him, and he's not going to let his pride get in the way of whatever, and he's storming the castle walls and something-or-other.
Then she gets all weepy and says she's so sorry, and then he tells her she's really got to 'dig down deep' and think about their relationship.
Their relationship?! This is a relationship?!
Flib writes that she has a crush on this guy, cries when she watches the show, and that the scene just described 'almost did me in.'
I can tell you I would not have a crush on the woman in that scene. In fact, I don't understand anything about that scene.
I've heard some women say they like a guy who, as they put it, 'calls me on my shit,' and I suppose that's what this scene is about.
Being neither a therapist nor a preacher, I don't have much skill or passion for calling people on their 'shit.'
How about we agree that I won't act like a crazy person if you won't?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Links
New and returned links. Ms. HRP's blog, Long Ryde Home, is back on the links list, and joining it is the blog of Kathryn McCampbell, sometimes referred to here as Nurse K.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
How I made Ms. HRP cry
We were at dinner last night, and talking about what we'd do if we won the lottery. I mentioned that I expect to live about another fifteen years (which would put me in my seventies), and that I had already lived as much as I needed to live.
She looked at me with a sort of stunned expression on her face. She sat back in her chair, staring at me with the same expression. It was as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and the news was too awful to be true. And then tears welled up in her eyes and started streaming down her face.
Maybe she'll clarify this on her own blog. My own inference was that she was aghast that someone could hold life so casually and dispassionately.
I explained to her something I have written about here before - that I have completed everything I was 'supposed' to do in this life, and I am now trying to relax and appreciate each day as it comes. No big plans, no ambitious goals.
"You make it sound like you're going to just lay down and die," she said, still wiping back tears.
I withheld my response, which would have been, 'Yes, that's about it.' But I think my silence said it as clearly as the words would have.
"What if you fall in love?" she asked.
"What if I get hit by a meteor?" I replied.
Let me reiterate that I like my life these days. No drunk family members to clean up after. No narcissistic TV personalities whose egos need constant stroking. No government coworkers dumping their inboxes in my lap so they can do their nails or watch YouTube.
I get up when I want to get up, and I go to sleep when I want to go to sleep. I walk away from drama. I am not a team player.
But I also know that everything, including life itself, is impermanent, and no amount of rushing to and fro looking for passion and excitement will change that. Attachment always leads to separation and suffering.
In a couple of hours the birds will be singing in the back yard. I'll go to the Red Cup and say good morning to my friends and acquaintances. I hope to enjoy these pleasures for as many years as I have left, whether it's fifteen or five.
But even if it's only five, I hope I'll reach the end with calm and equanimity.
She looked at me with a sort of stunned expression on her face. She sat back in her chair, staring at me with the same expression. It was as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and the news was too awful to be true. And then tears welled up in her eyes and started streaming down her face.
Maybe she'll clarify this on her own blog. My own inference was that she was aghast that someone could hold life so casually and dispassionately.
I explained to her something I have written about here before - that I have completed everything I was 'supposed' to do in this life, and I am now trying to relax and appreciate each day as it comes. No big plans, no ambitious goals.
"You make it sound like you're going to just lay down and die," she said, still wiping back tears.
I withheld my response, which would have been, 'Yes, that's about it.' But I think my silence said it as clearly as the words would have.
"What if you fall in love?" she asked.
"What if I get hit by a meteor?" I replied.
Let me reiterate that I like my life these days. No drunk family members to clean up after. No narcissistic TV personalities whose egos need constant stroking. No government coworkers dumping their inboxes in my lap so they can do their nails or watch YouTube.
I get up when I want to get up, and I go to sleep when I want to go to sleep. I walk away from drama. I am not a team player.
But I also know that everything, including life itself, is impermanent, and no amount of rushing to and fro looking for passion and excitement will change that. Attachment always leads to separation and suffering.
In a couple of hours the birds will be singing in the back yard. I'll go to the Red Cup and say good morning to my friends and acquaintances. I hope to enjoy these pleasures for as many years as I have left, whether it's fifteen or five.
But even if it's only five, I hope I'll reach the end with calm and equanimity.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
What day is this?
Slept pretty well until I was awakened by another crazy-ass 'previous career' dream. As usual, there was that pleasant flash of realization that, yes, it was just a dream, and no, I don't have to worry about that stuff anymore.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Somebody's cat
I found somebody's cat dead in the street a block down from my house last night. At first glance, lit by my headlights, it looked like it might have been the long-missing Smudge, but it was not.
I touched her. She was still warm, and rigor mortis had not begun. She had been dead only a few minutes. I picked her up and put her on the grass, off the pavement. I stroked her side a few times, which did nothing for her, but made me feel a little better.
My street is so quiet it's hard to imagine how you would hit an animal with a car unless you were trying to. But we've had a half-dozen or more cats killed since last spring in this two-block stretch. No dogs, and only a couple of squirrels, but a lot of cats. I suspect we've had someone move into the neighborhood who enjoys running them down.
(Years ago in Texas, I worked with a guy who ran over all kinds of animals, and had practiced until he could aim his company Tahoe with deadly accuracy. It was an expression, he said, of the dominion God had given him over the beasts in the field and the birds in the air. He was eventually fired, and last I heard was marketing himself as an evangelist.)
I remain somewhat closer to dogs and cats than to humans. If I were forced to choose - and I hope I never am - I would give up human contact before I would give up animals.
I touched her. She was still warm, and rigor mortis had not begun. She had been dead only a few minutes. I picked her up and put her on the grass, off the pavement. I stroked her side a few times, which did nothing for her, but made me feel a little better.
My street is so quiet it's hard to imagine how you would hit an animal with a car unless you were trying to. But we've had a half-dozen or more cats killed since last spring in this two-block stretch. No dogs, and only a couple of squirrels, but a lot of cats. I suspect we've had someone move into the neighborhood who enjoys running them down.
(Years ago in Texas, I worked with a guy who ran over all kinds of animals, and had practiced until he could aim his company Tahoe with deadly accuracy. It was an expression, he said, of the dominion God had given him over the beasts in the field and the birds in the air. He was eventually fired, and last I heard was marketing himself as an evangelist.)
I remain somewhat closer to dogs and cats than to humans. If I were forced to choose - and I hope I never am - I would give up human contact before I would give up animals.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Random stuff
I haven't posted much of anything lately, because everything's been pretty calm and sedate with me. (As mentioned previously, there's been some drama in my general vicinity, but it's not about me.)
But I feel like I ought to post something, for crying out loud, so here are a few random statements of fact and opinion.
1. I had never heard of Rihanna or Chris Brown until this week. I assume they're singers, but I don't even know that for sure. I asked someone about thirty years younger than me, and he didn't know who they were, either.
2. I'm going to tune out any cable TV or talk radio rant that includes the line, "This is America!" - as if that somehow proves the ranter's point.
3. I've sort of dropped contact with my favorite willowy gauzy ethereal Buddhist friend. This happened about a month and a half ago. We met for lunch, she said something about her boyfriend, and I could feel my face turn red. I don't know what it looked like, but if it was enough that I could feel it, it must have been obvious. Equally obvious by that point was that my emotional response to that situation is more or less beyond my control, and I've been kidding myself thinking I could manage it or maintain equanimity about it. I'm not going to make myself crazy over it - nor am I going to drive her crazy, for that matter.
4. I liked the Obama "HOPE" poster, but I'm tired of the knockoffs. I saw one for Bill Maher tonight, and another for Bernard Madoff. Enough is enough.
5. Work continues on redecorating the master bedroom. Ms. HRP will probably finish texturing the walls tomorrow. She's also redoing the ceiling, and doing something to the floor as well.
6. I've been building up my classical music library. I'm blah about Beethoven, and I've never liked Mozart. Janácek, Dvořák, Shostakovich, Sibelius and others are more to my liking.
7. The iPhone changed my life. Not necessarily for the better, some would say.
8. And finally, a picture of a couple of cats sleeping.
This was sent by a relative, and I don't know where it originated.
But I feel like I ought to post something, for crying out loud, so here are a few random statements of fact and opinion.
1. I had never heard of Rihanna or Chris Brown until this week. I assume they're singers, but I don't even know that for sure. I asked someone about thirty years younger than me, and he didn't know who they were, either.
2. I'm going to tune out any cable TV or talk radio rant that includes the line, "This is America!" - as if that somehow proves the ranter's point.
3. I've sort of dropped contact with my favorite willowy gauzy ethereal Buddhist friend. This happened about a month and a half ago. We met for lunch, she said something about her boyfriend, and I could feel my face turn red. I don't know what it looked like, but if it was enough that I could feel it, it must have been obvious. Equally obvious by that point was that my emotional response to that situation is more or less beyond my control, and I've been kidding myself thinking I could manage it or maintain equanimity about it. I'm not going to make myself crazy over it - nor am I going to drive her crazy, for that matter.
4. I liked the Obama "HOPE" poster, but I'm tired of the knockoffs. I saw one for Bill Maher tonight, and another for Bernard Madoff. Enough is enough.
5. Work continues on redecorating the master bedroom. Ms. HRP will probably finish texturing the walls tomorrow. She's also redoing the ceiling, and doing something to the floor as well.
6. I've been building up my classical music library. I'm blah about Beethoven, and I've never liked Mozart. Janácek, Dvořák, Shostakovich, Sibelius and others are more to my liking.
7. The iPhone changed my life. Not necessarily for the better, some would say.
8. And finally, a picture of a couple of cats sleeping.
This was sent by a relative, and I don't know where it originated.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Drama
There has been a little bit more drama in my than usual lately. But I have been mostly an observer. None of it has been directed at me or involved me except as I have chosen to be involved.
Ms. Home Rehab Person, as you may have heard, was hit by a ginormous cement truck and is probably lucky to be alive, having escaped with painful but non-life threatening injury to her anterior region.
The other matters will not be described here. I will only say that they all involve some thought processes that I can't follow, and some antagonisms and disputes that from my perspective are not worth the energy being put into them.
It's the kind of stuff that gets me thinking again about a cabin in the woods somewhere.
I continue to be frustrated and disappointed that the great mass of humanity doesn't see everything the way I do.
Ms. Home Rehab Person, as you may have heard, was hit by a ginormous cement truck and is probably lucky to be alive, having escaped with painful but non-life threatening injury to her anterior region.
The other matters will not be described here. I will only say that they all involve some thought processes that I can't follow, and some antagonisms and disputes that from my perspective are not worth the energy being put into them.
It's the kind of stuff that gets me thinking again about a cabin in the woods somewhere.
I continue to be frustrated and disappointed that the great mass of humanity doesn't see everything the way I do.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
The Past
I've been exposed this past week to a collection of thirty-year-old photos from my TV days - including the one posted yesterday.
I'm rather ambivalent about my television career. On the whole, I think I would have been happier if I had just stayed in art and never gone off on the TV track.
I was no howling success. I did a lot of anchoring of weekend and noon newscasts and got fired from as many jobs as I quit. Most of the people with whom I coanchored newscasts went on to bigger and better things while I remained behind.
I was a strong writer, but that was the only strength upon which I could build a career, and as writing became less and less important, it was harder for me to stay relevant.
When an employer optioned out of my contract in 1998, I decided to put TV news behind me, and, as much as was possible, live as if I had never been involved in it. It took a couple of years to completely let go - years in which I hung around on TV 'insider' chat boards and stayed in email contact with some of my former coworkers - but eventually I divorced myself more or less completely from the past.
I get some satisfaction from having people tell me they can't believe I was ever on television, or have people who saw me on television not recognize me today.
But seeing all these pictures makes me wonder if it isn't time to embrace my inner Ron Burgundy. I'm through with television, and it's through with me, but maybe I should quit trying to pretend like it never happened - only to have it surface in my nightmares.
I'm rather ambivalent about my television career. On the whole, I think I would have been happier if I had just stayed in art and never gone off on the TV track.
I was no howling success. I did a lot of anchoring of weekend and noon newscasts and got fired from as many jobs as I quit. Most of the people with whom I coanchored newscasts went on to bigger and better things while I remained behind.
I was a strong writer, but that was the only strength upon which I could build a career, and as writing became less and less important, it was harder for me to stay relevant.
When an employer optioned out of my contract in 1998, I decided to put TV news behind me, and, as much as was possible, live as if I had never been involved in it. It took a couple of years to completely let go - years in which I hung around on TV 'insider' chat boards and stayed in email contact with some of my former coworkers - but eventually I divorced myself more or less completely from the past.
I get some satisfaction from having people tell me they can't believe I was ever on television, or have people who saw me on television not recognize me today.
But seeing all these pictures makes me wonder if it isn't time to embrace my inner Ron Burgundy. I'm through with television, and it's through with me, but maybe I should quit trying to pretend like it never happened - only to have it surface in my nightmares.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Stay classy, Oklahoma City
Publicity/advertising photo from about 1976. Why was I the only one wearing plaid?
Friday, February 06, 2009
Red Rock Canyon hike
Four of us went for a hike in Red Rock Canyon State Park south of Hinton on Thursday.
I wasn't sure I was in shape for that experience, but I mostly kept up with the group, which included Jonathan Majid and Maureen Kidd.
Ms. HRP was in the group, too, and got the best photos... not surprising, since she used to teach photography. I have the better camera, but she has the better eye.
She's put many of her pictures on her MySpace page, and I've put some of mine on my Facebook page.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
What I ate today
An apple and a chunk of Cracker Barrel cheddar cheese
Some kind of Special K snack bar
A banana
A bowl of white bean soup at The Red Cup
About two thirds of a beef shishkebab at Zorba's
Another apple
Some kind of Special K snack bar
A banana
A bowl of white bean soup at The Red Cup
About two thirds of a beef shishkebab at Zorba's
Another apple
Too much food
We're having our big Lunar New Year celebration this weekend, and a friend and I ate at a local Vietnamese/Chinese place Saturday night.
The plate of food I was served was enough to sustain me at my current level of activity for perhaps three days. But I stuffed it all down.
I eat out most of the time, and I am always served far more food than I need to eat. And yet I almost invariably eat all of it. I like to eat, that is, the actual physical experience of eating. And I am still bothered by the thought of the food going to waste - even though more harm is done by my eating it than would be done if it were left on the plate. Plus, there's the twisted economic consideration: I paid for it, dammit, and I'm going to eat it.
It is hard to change my eating habits. I've had some success forcing myself to leave food behind, but not enough success. Even though the amount I eat is detrimental to my health, I can't break the habit of overeating.
The plate of food I was served was enough to sustain me at my current level of activity for perhaps three days. But I stuffed it all down.
I eat out most of the time, and I am always served far more food than I need to eat. And yet I almost invariably eat all of it. I like to eat, that is, the actual physical experience of eating. And I am still bothered by the thought of the food going to waste - even though more harm is done by my eating it than would be done if it were left on the plate. Plus, there's the twisted economic consideration: I paid for it, dammit, and I'm going to eat it.
It is hard to change my eating habits. I've had some success forcing myself to leave food behind, but not enough success. Even though the amount I eat is detrimental to my health, I can't break the habit of overeating.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)