The comments posted in response to my statement 'life is supposed to be boring' were all on the money.
Again, this was something I picked up during the course of some intensive life reassessment about ten years ago, and was offered to me more as advice for people whose lives are filled with drama and angst, often self-generated in order to relieve boredom.
I often say I hate drama, but that's not quite correct. I'm actually a drama junkie. It's the 'hangover' of personal drama I hate, and I hate it intensely enough that it's worth making an effort to minimize drama in my own life and to stay out of other people's drama.
But getting joy from mundane tasks is something at which I fail miserably. I hate mundane tasks. My brain seems to simply stop functioning when confronted with them. Maybe I could solve my inability to achieve a 'no-mind' meditative state by simply putting the phone bill in front of me when I sit.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Artificial Intelligence Koans
Nina/Christina posted a link to some Buddhist humor sources on Flibbertigibbett! the other day, and I've been perusing them off and on.
One of them, called Artificial Intelligence Koans, contains this story:
One of them, called Artificial Intelligence Koans, contains this story:
"A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal. 'I would like to give you this personality test,' said the outsider, 'because I want you to be happy.' Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster: 'I wish the toaster to be happy, too.'"
A cabin in the woods
Seen via reddit.com... the mountain cabin of architect Olle Lundberg, built largely from used and recycled materials.
In fact, this whole site is interesting. Some of it is a little cutesy, and some of it a little consumerist/materialist, but there's also a green living section.
And if you're interested in living in less space, there seem to be quite a few useful tips here.
In fact, this whole site is interesting. Some of it is a little cutesy, and some of it a little consumerist/materialist, but there's also a green living section.
And if you're interested in living in less space, there seem to be quite a few useful tips here.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The Senior Pet
Most of you have heard me speak of Beasley, the senior pet. Those of you who know me from The Well may remember when I got Beasley, which was almost ten years ago. I was, strangely enough, depressed at the time, and Beasley came along at a very fortuitous moment, jumping out from under a shrub in a park and grabbing my ankle and refusing to let go.
He was small enough to sit in the palm of my hand at the time – about the same age as these two kittens scampering around the house right now. Today, he is middle-aged, fat and kind of grumpy – the Oscar Madison of cats.
He's also prone to depression. When Beasley gets depressed, he goes and sits in a corner, facing the wall, and refuses to acknowledge me or any other cat. That might go on for three or four days. He will still go eat and use the litter box, but when he's done he returns to his corner.
I mention that because he's been depressed the past few days and I think it's because of the kittens. They want to play, and Beasley wants to sleep.
Beasley occasionally goes outdoors, though not as often as he once did. He doesn't like the cold much, so he'll be staying indoors for the next few months. I think he's ready to retire to full-time indoor cat status again, and that's fine with me.
But when he does go out, he always does the same thing: walk down the driveway, turn left onto the sidewalk, follow it to my neighbor's driveway, then take the neighbor's driveway back to the house. I suppose he's inspecting the grounds, but it fascinates me that he chose that concrete as our 'perimeter.'
Beasley is usually okay with other cats when he's outside. Indoors, it's sometimes a different story. There are a couple of cats he doesn't like, and if, on a warm day when the door's open, they step across the threshhold, he's there in a flash to bounce them. If he's under the car and they follow him there, he's okay with that. Or on the porch, or the backyard deck (although he rarely goes to the back yard.) But once they're actually in the house, boom!
(Butthead, the cat who bit me last fall, was on Beasley's 'pass' list.)
I find it remarkable me that he recognizes the walls of the house as his most personal territory - his sanctum snactorum, if you will. He could just as easily have chosen the house and the porch, or the whole front yard, but he seems to have some concept of being 'indoors' or 'outdoors,' and where the generally accepted boundary is.
I mention all this because cats fascinate me, exactly because of this kind of behavior.
He was small enough to sit in the palm of my hand at the time – about the same age as these two kittens scampering around the house right now. Today, he is middle-aged, fat and kind of grumpy – the Oscar Madison of cats.
He's also prone to depression. When Beasley gets depressed, he goes and sits in a corner, facing the wall, and refuses to acknowledge me or any other cat. That might go on for three or four days. He will still go eat and use the litter box, but when he's done he returns to his corner.
I mention that because he's been depressed the past few days and I think it's because of the kittens. They want to play, and Beasley wants to sleep.
Beasley occasionally goes outdoors, though not as often as he once did. He doesn't like the cold much, so he'll be staying indoors for the next few months. I think he's ready to retire to full-time indoor cat status again, and that's fine with me.
But when he does go out, he always does the same thing: walk down the driveway, turn left onto the sidewalk, follow it to my neighbor's driveway, then take the neighbor's driveway back to the house. I suppose he's inspecting the grounds, but it fascinates me that he chose that concrete as our 'perimeter.'
Beasley is usually okay with other cats when he's outside. Indoors, it's sometimes a different story. There are a couple of cats he doesn't like, and if, on a warm day when the door's open, they step across the threshhold, he's there in a flash to bounce them. If he's under the car and they follow him there, he's okay with that. Or on the porch, or the backyard deck (although he rarely goes to the back yard.) But once they're actually in the house, boom!
(Butthead, the cat who bit me last fall, was on Beasley's 'pass' list.)
I find it remarkable me that he recognizes the walls of the house as his most personal territory - his sanctum snactorum, if you will. He could just as easily have chosen the house and the porch, or the whole front yard, but he seems to have some concept of being 'indoors' or 'outdoors,' and where the generally accepted boundary is.
I mention all this because cats fascinate me, exactly because of this kind of behavior.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Thursday 7:13 am
Something I forgot to mention:
Before I became interested in Buddhism and learned about the concept of dukkha, I spent some time in therapy. One of the things I learned in that experience is that life is supposed to be boring.
Life is filled with mundane tasks like doing laundry, flossing your teeth, cleaning up after kids or pets if you have them, mowing the yard and so on. If your life has none of this, and your day is filled from start to finish with excitement and drama, something's wrong.
Knowing that and living that are two different things.
I'm not only bored by the boring things – I'm bored by the supposedly interesting things. And sometimes I feel almost paralyzed by the ennui.
Before I became interested in Buddhism and learned about the concept of dukkha, I spent some time in therapy. One of the things I learned in that experience is that life is supposed to be boring.
Life is filled with mundane tasks like doing laundry, flossing your teeth, cleaning up after kids or pets if you have them, mowing the yard and so on. If your life has none of this, and your day is filled from start to finish with excitement and drama, something's wrong.
Knowing that and living that are two different things.
I'm not only bored by the boring things – I'm bored by the supposedly interesting things. And sometimes I feel almost paralyzed by the ennui.
Thursday 3:01 AM
I am getting close to the 90-day mark on my retirement, and I think restlessness is settling in. But I'm not so restless that I'm actually going to do anything about it.
I've written before about what I have called our 'entertainment economy,' by which I mean that our economy is driven not so much by information, as pundits like to say, as by entertainment, as evidenced by the amount of money we pay athletes and actors and what we pay for entertainment services and appliances. We have a need to constantly be receiving 'junk data,' which is to say data that is trivial enough that we can expose ourselves to it somewhat casually and not worry about missing part or most of it. We just need a steady flow to distract us from the essential emptiness of our lives – white noise and white light to keep us from really hearing and seeing.
One thing I don't do well is sit quietly. I can do fine, and have done fine, without ever seeing Dancing With the Stars or even an episode of The Sopranos or whatever is the current darling of TV critics. The last movie I saw was An Inconvenient Truth. But sitting and killing time with friends and acquaintances is my substitute for spending money on movies and cable TV. As far as just sitting at the wall, my mind clear of discursive thoughts – I actually find that more difficult now than I did when I first started meditation practice. At this point, it would be misleading to say I have a meditation practice at all.
So, coming back to the restlessness: I feel this need, or maybe addiction to having somethin' goin' on. But I don't know what, because almost everything bores me.
Even this fails to capture my attention or imagination.
I got into a heated discussion a few weeks ago about whether it was possible to have parallel universes or whether there can be by definition only one universe, and anything we discovered that we might call a 'parallel universe' would actually be a parallel dimension of that one universe. That's a pretty arcane topic, suitable mostly for quantum physicists and comic book writers, but someone pointed out that it was the first time they'd ever heard me talk about anything with any degree of passion or interest. What made that subject so interesting to me at the time I can't say.
The house is a mess again. I could spend a couple of days cleaning it up, but I can't even get my mind around that – too boring. There are two semi-feral kittens lurking in here. I see them occasionally darting from behind one piece of furniture to underneath another, and that's all. But they're dropping kitten-size turd bombs here and there, and I need to go on catshit safari and track it all down. I may work up enough energy to do that, but I'd rather read or sit at the coffee shop or just sleep.
I've written before about what I have called our 'entertainment economy,' by which I mean that our economy is driven not so much by information, as pundits like to say, as by entertainment, as evidenced by the amount of money we pay athletes and actors and what we pay for entertainment services and appliances. We have a need to constantly be receiving 'junk data,' which is to say data that is trivial enough that we can expose ourselves to it somewhat casually and not worry about missing part or most of it. We just need a steady flow to distract us from the essential emptiness of our lives – white noise and white light to keep us from really hearing and seeing.
One thing I don't do well is sit quietly. I can do fine, and have done fine, without ever seeing Dancing With the Stars or even an episode of The Sopranos or whatever is the current darling of TV critics. The last movie I saw was An Inconvenient Truth. But sitting and killing time with friends and acquaintances is my substitute for spending money on movies and cable TV. As far as just sitting at the wall, my mind clear of discursive thoughts – I actually find that more difficult now than I did when I first started meditation practice. At this point, it would be misleading to say I have a meditation practice at all.
So, coming back to the restlessness: I feel this need, or maybe addiction to having somethin' goin' on. But I don't know what, because almost everything bores me.
Even this fails to capture my attention or imagination.
I got into a heated discussion a few weeks ago about whether it was possible to have parallel universes or whether there can be by definition only one universe, and anything we discovered that we might call a 'parallel universe' would actually be a parallel dimension of that one universe. That's a pretty arcane topic, suitable mostly for quantum physicists and comic book writers, but someone pointed out that it was the first time they'd ever heard me talk about anything with any degree of passion or interest. What made that subject so interesting to me at the time I can't say.
The house is a mess again. I could spend a couple of days cleaning it up, but I can't even get my mind around that – too boring. There are two semi-feral kittens lurking in here. I see them occasionally darting from behind one piece of furniture to underneath another, and that's all. But they're dropping kitten-size turd bombs here and there, and I need to go on catshit safari and track it all down. I may work up enough energy to do that, but I'd rather read or sit at the coffee shop or just sleep.
"How long have the planets been circling the sun? Are they getting anywhere, and do they go faster and faster in order to arrive? How often has the spring returned to the earth? Does it come faster and faster every year, to be sure to be better than last spring and to hurry on its way to the spring that shall outspring all springs?"~Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
More Watts for You
Mark Watts, the son of philosopher Alan Watts, has apparently created a YouTube account where he has posted some of his father's videos.
I say "apparently" because even though these are rare videos, and Watts has a son named Mark, there's no way I can know for sure that this account holder is in fact Watts' son.
Whether he is or not, the videos speak for themselves, so here's the link.
As I've mentioned before, many of Watts' audio recordings from KPFA and other appearances are available as iTunes podcasts, and the Alan Watts web site is permanently linked at right.
I say "apparently" because even though these are rare videos, and Watts has a son named Mark, there's no way I can know for sure that this account holder is in fact Watts' son.
Whether he is or not, the videos speak for themselves, so here's the link.
As I've mentioned before, many of Watts' audio recordings from KPFA and other appearances are available as iTunes podcasts, and the Alan Watts web site is permanently linked at right.
Monday
This is a perfect day to wrap myself in the Bathrobe of Perfect Enlightenment and the Comfy House Shoes of Supreme Wisdom and just hang out. And that's what I'm doing.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Dweezil Zappa, we just praise your name.
From Fuzzy Quark: I was wondering this same thing, even when I was a fundamentalist.
In fact, if you wanted to praise somebody's name, wouldn't you say something like, "Dude, you have such a cool name!" instead of saying, "We just praise your name"?
In fact, if you wanted to praise somebody's name, wouldn't you say something like, "Dude, you have such a cool name!" instead of saying, "We just praise your name"?
Hui-Neng
Here's a straightforward and demystified account of the Sixth Patriarch Ancestor and his contribution to chan/zen.
The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Hui-Neng
The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Hui-Neng
Did you take your fish oil today?
Just checking. We don't want you running around with insufficient Omega 3 fatty acids.
Infatuation
"Being infatuated with sense objects and thereby shutting themselves from their own light, all sentient beings, tormented by outer circumstances and inner vexations, act voluntarily as slaves to their own desires."– The Platform Sutra of Hui-Neng
I'm going out on a limb with this, because we're talking about English translation, and there are a lot of different ways to translate certain Chinese words (or so I've read – I'm no expert).
But I'm interested in the use of the word 'infatuated' here. The way we generally use this word, you'd think it has something to do with sexual attraction, obsession, lust, or desire.
But the Latin root "infatuat-" means 'made foolish.' Infatuation doesn't mean, literally speaking, 'having a crush' – it means being made foolish.
And that's what happens, isn't it? Well, that's what happens to me. Your mileage may vary.
We most commonly talk about being infatuated as an extreme, brief sexual or physical attraction, but in this context, the Sixth Zen Patriarch (or his translator) is talking about being infatuated with all kinds of things that are seen, heard, smelled, tasted and physically felt. And we could add to that intangible things that are sensed only in our minds – fame (or infamy, which is sometimes just as agreeable), joy, sadness, anger, resentment – even the pursuit of enlightenment.
I often paraphrase Thoreau who said (paraphrasing), 'You don't own your possessions - your possessions own you.' I think this is also true of these infatuations – they end up controlling our lives, telling us how we will act or behave rather than us making our own choices.
And then we are made foolish.
The usual disclaimer applies.
Omega 3 factoid
I guess the actual deal is that Omega 3 fatty acids can reduce the chance of stroke while simultaneously increasing the risk of bleeding, thus increasing the chance of stroke in some people. Or something.
Friday, October 19, 2007
LOOK OUT! I'M HIGH ON FISH OIL!!!
Based on advice from friends, I bought some fish oil supplement today, and tonight I'm fairly exploding with Omega 3 fatty acids.
This is going to affect my depression, reduce my risk of heart disease, help me lose weight, and possibly cause a stroke. But three out of four ain't bad.
More on Omega 3 fatty acids from the University of Maryland Medical Center and the American Heart Association.
This is going to affect my depression, reduce my risk of heart disease, help me lose weight, and possibly cause a stroke. But three out of four ain't bad.
More on Omega 3 fatty acids from the University of Maryland Medical Center and the American Heart Association.
More buttons pushed
I find myself unable to discuss the war in Iraq rationally with anyone who supports it, so it's time to just stop. I'm not changing anyone's mind, anyway.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Do I care about facebook?
I rarely use my myspace account. My friends are mostly people I see every day. Their friends appear to be mostly people they see every day.
Myspace always struck me as mostly warmed-over America Online. Hard to believe now that seven or eight years ago AOL was supposed to be the hottest thing on the planet and it briefly had so much money it was able to buy Time Warner. In 2015 I think they'll be talking about myspace the way they talk about AOL today – which is to say barely at all.
So now here's facebook and it certainly looks saner, for lack of a better word, than myspace, but I'm not sure I see that it has any value for me. I'll be happy to entertain other opinions, though.
Myspace always struck me as mostly warmed-over America Online. Hard to believe now that seven or eight years ago AOL was supposed to be the hottest thing on the planet and it briefly had so much money it was able to buy Time Warner. In 2015 I think they'll be talking about myspace the way they talk about AOL today – which is to say barely at all.
So now here's facebook and it certainly looks saner, for lack of a better word, than myspace, but I'm not sure I see that it has any value for me. I'll be happy to entertain other opinions, though.
Thursday evening
I think what happened this week is that a few things pushed some old buttons for me. None of them were done on purpose, or with the intent of pushing my buttons – they were just a confluence of random events that simultaneously tapped into some old issues that haven't come up for me in a long time.
I've kind of gotten around the corner on this, I think, but I still need some more time to myself.
A lot of people think I'm rather reclusive now, but I was much more so for most of my life. The past couple of years have been unusually busy for me in terms of social contact, and that has intensified even more since leaving work. So now I've got a bit of contact overload, and I need to get into a quieter mode of living for awhile.
I've kind of gotten around the corner on this, I think, but I still need some more time to myself.
A lot of people think I'm rather reclusive now, but I was much more so for most of my life. The past couple of years have been unusually busy for me in terms of social contact, and that has intensified even more since leaving work. So now I've got a bit of contact overload, and I need to get into a quieter mode of living for awhile.
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