Speaking of craving... I would like to be able to say that my spirituality has ascended to such lofty heights that I no longer even think about physical attraction. But I am still sometimes afflicted with it — and I don't choose the word "afflicted" casually.
Being attracted to someone is for me like having a head cold, which is to say it's an unpleasant nuisance which I know will eventually pass, but must be endured until it does. It's too bad there's no NyQuil-like product available for it.
The good news is that I recognize that I have been irrationally obsessed many times in my life, and not often in love. Maybe never in love.
Irrational obsession doesn't appeal to me anymore. It's too much of a drain. Five years and thirty pounds ago, the pre-Buddhist/Taoist me was more prone to give in to it, leading to all kinds of stomach-churning worry, intellectualizing, second- and third-guessing and bizarre behavior. In my current configuration I don't consider it an option.
Just as I would like to never catch cold, and never be depressed, I would like to cut myself free from these crazy attractions. They are, of course, genetically hard-wired, and I'm not likely to ever be totally free of them.
2 comments:
I'd like to see an infatuation vaccine developed.
zprkxg
Infatuation and sexual desires are hardwired into your body and you aren't going to lose those things without ripping out your hormonal system and that part of your DNA that insists on placing a priority on survival of the species.
So, why don't you give up your guilt and awkwardness attachments instead?
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