...chapter 107 or whatever.
Finally broke out of it a couple of weeks ago, after spending the whole summer holed up in the house. But now it's coming back, and I can feel it coming on like a cold.
I'm sleeping a little bit later every day. I'm more acutely aware of past failures and current shortcomings. I'm feeling alone again, but wanting to disengage from people nonetheless.
6 comments:
Lark here.
Have you considered antidepressants? Might help.
DO NOT FUCKING TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. The only time I ever truly, really, actually, without-a-doubt wanted to die was when I was on anti-depressants. Kill yourself before you take them. There is no point. They make you fat, lethargic, stupid, limped-dicked and otherwise inhuman. DO NOT TAKE THEM AT ANY COST. Ride your bike instead.
I took an antidepressant about seven or eight years ago, and it helped.
I always say having depression is like having a cold. And when people have a cold they usually take something for it.
On the other hand, being retired and uninsured, I'm not sure I want to spend the money.
have you tried meditation? there are free meditation retreats all over the U.S. that help lots of people, since you're retired you might have 10 days to devote: dhamma.org
Gee whiz! Somebody doesn't like ant-depressants!
MCARP, maybe you are suffering from the same think I'm suffering from... Boredom. Every day is the same old day, every person says the same old things. Ugh!
Try expanding your horizons by attending lectures on subjects that interest you. Meet new people who have something new to talk about. Just do something different.
I am starting this on Monday. I'm going to do something new and maybe uncomfortable, every week. I'm going to force myself to meet new people and do new things. I wish you were here to do this with me cause I would enjoy your company and shared experiences. I don't have anyone to do this with but I'm going to do it anyway. I have to or I'll go crazy.
Love you,
Mindovermary
I (think I) remember the first time I noticed I was depressed. It was 1965 and I was in Mrs. Koch's first grade class at Windsor Hills Elementary. I remember looking at the blackboard and thinking "Oh, Jesus, WHO CARES". Anyway, that progressd and by my mid-forties the Black Dog was my constant companion. At 48 I left a town I had lived in all my life. Now, instead of looking at Broadway Extension every morning I am greeted by the Santa Catalina desert mountains from my living room window. Instead of a blacktop parking lot I have Saguaro cactus in my front yard. Blue sky, no rain, no wind, no humidity most of the year. I have ridden my bike every day for the last 5 months. EVERY day. There is an 18 mile trail right by my house. I bike non-stop through beautiful scenery with little geckos crowding the path for hours. The mountains are in my vision 100 percent of the time. There are also 100s of miles of bike paths throughout the entire city. Some weeks I barely drive my car. My city does not have just one coffee shop with open-minded people - there are liberal people e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. I am 3 hours to the Mexican beach, 2 hours to Phoenix where there is anything and everything and a couple of hours to about 100 different things that people come from all over the world to experience. I live exactly in the middle of three National Parks. Each one takes about 15 minutes to get to. I see the MILKY WAY on a regular basis as my city does not tolerate light pollution. Even the car dealers turn their big ass lights off at night!
So here's the deal: No, there is no such thing as a geographical cure but moving out of OKC has decreased my depression drastically. It is not recommended for everyone but for me it was literally a life saver.
I wish everyone who suffers from depression his or her own "cure".
Post a Comment