Doing nothing, waiting to die

This is not as depressing a topic as it sounds.

At lunch Tuesday, the subject briefly turned to people who have 'done everything they want to do, and are now just waiting to die.'

I didn't volunteer myself as a role model, but that rather accurately describes me.

I'm not waiting to die in the sense that I think death is imminent and I'm just drumming my fingers on the table waiting for Brad Pitt to show up and bore me for three hours. But knowing death is inevitable, and mindful of the number of people I've known who died when they were about my age, I've tried to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the day when it comes.

Part of the reason I decided to retire early was the death of a coworker at my office, which was followed shortly after my departure by the early death of another coworker who had previously retired because of deteriorating health.

My earlier coworkers Bill, Bob and Jim all died when they were about the age I am now.

(Okay, maybe this is a depressing topic.)

And I have done everything I want to do. I've told friends that there are some places in the world I would like to see if I could teleport there instantaneously, but there's no place I want to go that's worth the current hassle of getting there.

I've never been out of the country. But I've travelled all over the United States and I've seen as much of it as I want to see. Maybe I could handle a road trip if some willowy, ethereal, gauzy hippie/Buddhist woman went with me, but on my own (which is my current state) it doesn't seem very interesting.

The citizens of an enlightened state, a sage once wrote, never travel abroad, even though they're so close to the border they can hear the sound of the cock crowing in the next kingdom. This is because in an enlightened nation, their needs are all met at home.

My home town may not be all that enlightened, but I know that the sky is pretty much the same shade of blue no matter where you go. A sycamore tree looks the same from one place to the next. An afternoon breeze blows about the same way.

Of all the things that are important to me personally (which excludes most tourist attractions), what is available somewhere else that I can't get here? I can walk through the neighborhood, stop at the coffee shop and visit with my equally inert and indolent friends and come and go as I please.

What could be better than that while you're waiting to die?