More on the past

Once in awhile, I find myself mentally running through the details of some unpleasant event from my past. I used to do this frequently — like a couple of times a day or more. Now it's more like once a month or less. And I've learned to catch these moments as they occur and direct my thinking elsewhere, or just focus on my breathing for a few moments.

I've encountered some truly unpleasant people in my life, especially during my time as a reporter. Obviously there was some exposure to criminals and corrupt politicians, but I'm thinking more about the people I knew who were in the business.

In Generation of Swine, Hunter S. Thompson wrote:

"The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason."

I can tell you that from my vantage point, that's barely hyperbole. I knew a great many good people, some of whom I still bump into occasionally, but I also encountered more than a few people who seemed to be truly evil. And at least during the time I was in the business, it seemed to reward people who were devoid of conscience or ethics.

But I'm getting off the point here, because the point is all those people are in the past. In other words, they don't exist, at least for me. So there's no reason to think about them, fret about them or become frustrated or resentful about my encounters with them ten or twenty years ago. Those people no longer exist. My encounters with them no longer exist.

During the present moments I will experience today, I will probably:

• eat some toast with plum jam


• visit with some friends


• go for a walk


• have lunch with some friends


• commune with some cats


• maybe have a mimosa with some other friends


• maybe take a nap


• maybe work in the yard or around the house a bit

And will almost certainly not encounter a single bully, high-rolling swindler, white-collar thief or manipulative office politician.

It's kind of a running gag in my circle of friends that I don't go anywhere or do anything. But in truth, almost every waking moment of my day is a celebration of the fact that I no longer live as I once did.

It's a lot easier to be at peace if you can liberate yourself from hostile or unpleasant surroundings. I'd like to say that my own small-"e" enlightenment freed me, but it had more to do with circumstances beyond my control.

I'm grateful — immensely grateful — things turned out the way they did.

Postscript: The Hunter S. Thompson quote posted above is often followed by the additional sentence, "And then there's a negative side." This appears to be apocryphal, as are versions of the quote in which the description is applied to music or some other business.