I've been presented with several opportunities over the past few weeks to demonstrate compassion. I feel compassion, and I think I have a pretty good awareness of other people's suffering, but when it comes to acting on that compassion, I don't think I've done as good a job.
I have a concern that I will just be sanctimonious or patronizing, and perhaps do more harm than good.
When my father was dying, eight years ago, some people who barely knew him showed up at his bedside. Perhaps their compassion was genuine, but my cynical side led me to suspect they were 'vultures' who constantly showed up at family tragedies to get an emotional 'fix' by offering empty platitudes to the next of kin.
I don't want to appear that way. More importantly, I don't want to be that way, and fool myself into believing my behavior is grounded in genuine compassion when in fact I'm just feeding on other people's pain. I don't think that's the case, but if I'm really fooling myself, how would I know?
There have been other times in my life when friends offered me advice or insight in dealing with my own pain. Their actions were well-intentioned, but their wisdom was misguided or in error. Their suggestions would have caused me a lot of trouble if I had acted on them.
My own life is, at the moment, free of suffering. I think that's due to happy circumstance more than any spiritual attainment, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to be free, regardless of its cause. I wish I had the wisdom to help others find the same rest.
1 comment:
I often feel the same way. In my heart I feel the compassion. Yet, I'm not the one baking something for the bereaved, or the one showing up in the hospital room with an arm full of flowers. If I'm close enough, I'll offer some heartfelt words of support, and if it were a truly close friend, I would be by their side offering whatever it is they needed. But, I'm not one for gestures, even though they do serve a purpose, but too often they seem empty.
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