i'm sad you are depressed... feeling nothing is a strange place to live... i do understand this place...living that life...a few times in my life... sometimes it's easier to feel nothing than to feel anything.. mikeC it is....you have many wonderful relationships... perhaps they are not love lust...mind blowing...wow i can't stop thinking about you...but they are...beautiful...loving... relationships...nevertheless... cat hair...dog hair... who really cares... so you love your cats... there is not a thing wrong with that...!!!
As I've said before, I mostly do okay on my own. There used to be times I felt as though my soul was being crushed, but it's been years since I've felt like that.
Nowadays, I find myself occasionally wishing there were someone in my life who is on the same wavelength as me. But when the wavelength you're on is mostly about solitude and isolation, it makes it pretty much impossible to make that connection. The only option that I see is to change wavelengths, and I'm not willing to do that — nor am I sure I could if I wanted to.
At the bottom line, this is all about craving and wanting what I don't have. I'm marvelously fortunate to have what I have. I'm better off than most. And even I see that it's pretty damn short-sighted to overlook all that and be focused on what I don't have.
I'll add something to that: the kind of relationship I'm looking for, I realize, is one where I contribute less than she does. That's not fair, and I know it.
3 comments:
i'm sad you are depressed... feeling nothing is a strange place to live... i do understand this place...living that life...a few times in my life... sometimes it's easier to feel nothing than to feel anything..
mikeC it is....you have many wonderful relationships... perhaps they are not love lust...mind blowing...wow i can't stop thinking about you...but they are...beautiful...loving... relationships...nevertheless...
cat hair...dog hair... who really cares... so you love your cats... there is not a thing wrong with that...!!!
Yes, you're right about all of that.
As I've said before, I mostly do okay on my own. There used to be times I felt as though my soul was being crushed, but it's been years since I've felt like that.
Nowadays, I find myself occasionally wishing there were someone in my life who is on the same wavelength as me. But when the wavelength you're on is mostly about solitude and isolation, it makes it pretty much impossible to make that connection. The only option that I see is to change wavelengths, and I'm not willing to do that — nor am I sure I could if I wanted to.
At the bottom line, this is all about craving and wanting what I don't have. I'm marvelously fortunate to have what I have. I'm better off than most. And even I see that it's pretty damn short-sighted to overlook all that and be focused on what I don't have.
I'll add something to that: the kind of relationship I'm looking for, I realize, is one where I contribute less than she does. That's not fair, and I know it.
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