I suppose all the things going on in my life seem rather trivial compared to most other folks' lives. It's all a matter of perspective, is all I can say, and from my perspective, things have gotten a little out of hand. I'm not living my life the way I want to live it.
There's a part of me - the greater part, I think - that wants to live a simple, plain, contemplative life. But there's also still the part of me drawn to the iPhone, the Hawaiian shirts, and other superfluous stuff.
Sometime last winter I started thinking less like a buddha, and more like a typical American consumer/drama junkie, and the drift has continued to the present.
I didn't realize how much I had changed until I started rereading Wen-Tzu the other day.
I was more balanced and more at peace a year ago, and I want to get back to that. I want to spend more time with the sages and masters and less time with my iPhone and shoe collection.
3 comments:
Please consider the proposition that peace, contemplation and balance are principally functions of what is going on inside your head and not functions of the illusory world around you. Count how often you use the word "want" in this post. Are you attached to the illusion that you can be a master like Wen Tsu? Have your i-Phone and your Hawaiian shirts, but simply give them the importance they deserve. You have the knowledge of the masters you have read, just not the wisdom of living the path they describe.
I agree with you.
I don't have any illusions about being capital E enlightened. It's enough for me that I've gotten where I've gotten. If I attain some higher state in the future, great. And if not, that's okay, too.
I'm not going to get rid of the iPhone - although I may unload some of the shirts. My problem is not that I had them, but that I started to let these things run my life.
I was spending more money than I wanted to - or perhaps it would be better to say that I was spending in ways that were unwise.
So yes, I lack the wisdom for living the path of the masters. I'm going to give myself a break by putting up some buffers between me and the world.
I won't be sitting at the wall for nine years, but neither will I be at the bar knocking back mimosas in the afternoon.
Take two bufferin and call us in the morning.
Soarstar
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