Hi, the fine stranger

I did the online dating thing for awhile, and actually had one brief relationship come from it.

I promised myself when I started posting personals ads that I would not obsess about wording, phrasing and the like. Easier said than done, it turned out.

One of my personals went as follows:

Someone said existence is like a river: we see where it begins and where it ends, but in between are a thousand currents and eddies no one can predict.
I had a life filled with drama and excitement for many years. Now I've decided to take the gentle current and let it lead me where it will.
I'm not in "heavy relationship" mode right now, but I've spent too much time alone lately. I'm looking for someone who would like to go to a movie once in awhile, go to dinner and just talk, whatever.
The intellectual side is very important to me. I'm looking for someone who is smart, knowledgeable, politically and socially left of center. A certain amount of eccentricity is cool. An artistic bent is very cool. Dittoheadism is not cool.
Big influences: H.D. Thoreau, Alan Watts, Chuang Tzu, Jack Kornfield and Lama Surya Das.
I'm a commercial artist, web designer and copywriter by profession.
Nothing is more important than being stable and serene, but I can always eat -- what are you in the mood for?

I could have shortened that to...

Hi. An evening with me is about as interesting as watching paint dry. But I can always eat -- what are you in the mood for?

...without losing any of the essential meaning. But I got carried away.

Even so, I got responses.

Greetings, my name is Olya. to me of 28 years. I live in city Kazan...

Hello, My name is Svetlana, me of 36 years. I liked your profile on a site...

Hi, the fine stranger. I have found your profile on...

Okay, that's not entirely fair. I did have some legitimate correspondence and even the one relationship come from online dating services.

I sometimes wish there was someone else in my life. (Or maybe I wish there was someone else in my life sometimes, if you can appreciate the difference.) But I just don't know how to do it. Dating seems to consist –– at least for people my age –– of two people using conventional marketing and packaging techniques to influence their opinions of each other, then finding out the truth, then breaking up. Or marrying, buying a bunch of stuff, then finding out the truth and breaking up.

If there is a marketing strategy that can position me as sexy and exciting and interesting without requiring the assistance of Industrial Light & Magic, I don't know what it is.

To which any number of my friends would reply, "Just be yourself!"

I am myself. That's the problem.