I post a lot on Facebook... more than I post here. And I have a larger audience. In spite of that, or perhaps because of it, I am more guarded about what I say there.
I post a lot of Zen and Taoist quotes. I post a lot of links to political items, although lately, there are fewer of those as my interest in political blogs has waned. I 'check in' with reports of my whereabouts and activities (feeling reasonably confident that none of my friends will burglarize my house if they see I'm away).
But I don't think I've ever used the words 'willowy' or 'ethereal' on Facebook. I've never written the words 'infatuation' or 'made foolish'.
I've come to think that there are few things on the Internet drearier than guys whining about their love lives, although I do it myself. Facebook is just not the place for that.
Years ago, during the morning chatter around the table at the coffee shop, a friend revealed he had been diagnosed with cancer. The whole conversation stopped. Everyone looked at him, then at each other. The discomfort, including mine, was palpable. His honesty, and, frankly, his vulnerability at that moment had violated the understood code of superficial jocularity that guided coffee shop conversation.
Facebook is a lot like that. Keep it happy, keep it superficial. If your grandma is sick, it's OK to mention that, but your own pain, doubt, suffering, dukkha, whatever is too much of a downer.
Oh, look. It's a baby animal video from YouTube!
7 comments:
The conversation on Facebook is superficial because the people on Facebook are, well, superficial.
Oh, certainly that's too broad a brush and certainly there are people on Facebook who aren't superficial. Except when they are on Facebook.
I get exactly the same line of b.s. from people on Facebook that I get from people who learn that I watch no television. Oh, there are such good things on TV, some really really wonderful things. Perhaps so, but when they talk about TV, they tell me about Survivor and American Idol. What I know is that my life improved a good bit when I stopped watching any TV. Oh, you can connect with your friends and family all over the world with Facebook. Yeah, but do I care about what they have to say about their life on Facebook? In the main, no I don't. My loved ones can call and send emails and they do. I see my friends in person. We have real talk when we please and don't when we don't. It's actual human interaction unmediated by graphic user interfaces.
Apparently, I'm grumpy today.
Blogblah
We should have coffee soon.
Facebook = broadcast network.
As in, "I broadcast, you receive. Reciprocity not acceptable. Void where prohibited."
FACE Fuckbook.
Oh, reciprocity is allowed and encouraged. If I post a YouTube video of baby elephants, you, too can post a video of baby elephants. Or giraffes. Or whatever.
It's not the software that enforces limits on conversation, it's the users, themselves.
I stick to the superficial on Facebook for two reasons. One is the large number of people I've connected to, many of whom are not close friends; I set to a sort of lowest level of intimacy in my comments. The second reason is that Facebook changes their privacy settings so often, and seems to really want to make things public, so I assume anything I write there could ultimately end up public.
Lark
Just help me, please: What exactly is Zen or Taoist about being a Facebook junkie, which is what you so obviously are?
Nothing... but there's nothing Zen or Taoist about not being a Facebook junkie, either.
For me, Facebook is a lot like hanging out at the coffee shop. I just sit through short snippets of conversation. I listen, and sometimes I say something, but most of the time I don't.
Bear in mind I don't play any Facebook games, and I block posts that originate from those games.
So, for me, it';s all about the conversation.
And pictures of my feet.
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