I went to a couple of movies yesterday, and for the first time in my life, I had to get up and walk out of one to avoid getting sick.
The first movie I saw was Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. It was okay. Meh. The plot was a cold war scenario that could have come from the original series. Go to imdb.com if you want to know more.
But the movie that drove me out into the parking lot was Sherlock Holmes - A Game of Shadows. The bombastic soundtrack and herky-jerky special effects had me staring at the floor and taking slow, deep breaths by about thirty minutes in. I had some earbuds for my iPhone in my pocket, and I put those on to get some relief from the noise. And by the time Holmes and the Cossack assassin were chasing each other around the whore house (that's where they were, right?), I was headed for the exit.
I felt fine once I got to the car, but I had spells of nausea the rest of the evening, and I could feel my stomach churn every time I so much as thought about the movie.
I have seen bigger, noisier movies than this one, but something about it just hit me the wrong way. And I think maybe I've hit some sort of saturation point with big-screen sturm und drang offered as a substitute for story and characterization.
I don't know how this will affect future movie nights with Blogblah! Maybe we'll have to start seeing movies that don't suck.
Oh, speaking of movies that suck... he and soartstar and I went to see The Immortals recently. It's another of those movies with people randomly running back and forth in caves, hacking at each other with swords, but holy shit. It made a similar movie, Conan the Barbarian, look like Citizen Kane.
You don't appreciate a good movie about people randomly running back and forth in caves, hacking at each other with swords, until you see a bad one.
6 comments:
Amen. Years ago I went to the movies to cool off both literally and emotionally. Made the mistake of seeing Raising Arizona by Cohn Bros (who I usually love love love.) I left the theater when the screaming, car chases, etc started. I have seen the movie since and loved it. I have a low tolerance for noise and chaos, especially when stressed. I found the first Sherlock movie with R Downey Jr and Jude Law somewhat disconcerting and difficult. I think part of that was camera angles and relentless action--juvenile audience pacing. I rank Immortals with Alexander the Great of recent years and local theater productions of Godspell for audience endurance. Don't see it if at all possible. I will have to ask more questions about movies that 3:40 a.m. and Blogblah suggest in the future. Like--would my dead grandmother sleep through it or become nauseated and disoriented? I think I'll take your experience and not see Sherlock deux until it comes to a 41 inch screen in my personal theater.
Soartstar
My moment of not-zen with movie music and its power came in a film about John Lilly, starring John Hurt. There was a scene where he'd been in the isolation tank, on acid, and he was about to emerge. I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen, just KNEW, there was no suspense at all really, and yet the music got me so amped up I wanted to leave the theater.
Whoops probably not John Hurt, John Somebodyelse, not important.
We will find other movies to see. BAD is cross genre and ubiquitous, I'm afraid. Also, we can just tranq you down, as needed.
blogblah
SOMEONE: Did you see [latest "blockbuster"]
ME: No.
SOMEONE: Why not?
ME: I'm not a fourteen year old boy.
---John X, documentary & foreign film buff
I believe Lark is talking about the film "Altered States" with William Hurt. It took me a couple of days to figure it out.
blogblah
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