I left work for lunch Monday, and while I was out, I sat and thought about my office, my cubicle, my two monitors, and the various tasks waiting for me when I got back. The more I thought about it, the queasier I got, and I ended up not going back.
Today is the 4th, of course, so I didn't have to go in, but I don't know how I'll handle tomorrow.
I picked up copies of two graphic design magazines yesterday - magazines I read regularly - and couldn't finish them. Typography and color matching don't seem very important to me right now.
Can't get worked up one way or another about Paris Hilton or Ann Coulter. The Scooter Libby thing at least has some real significance, but I'm not following it with laser-like intensity.
When I'm at home, I read. And all I've read for more than a year now is books centered around Buddhism and Taoism.
I have had a glimpse of the real nature of things, and nothing else seems interesting.
5 comments:
You should read Chuck Klosterman IV. It's highly recommended by all the Book People people. I'm starting it today, so I can't give it my own seal of approval yet, but I can vouch for the feeling of reading something I've never read before (specifically and genre-ly), which is at least a mildly excited kind of felling.
MCARP, you're missing so much by being so blind. Life is beautiful! Everything is beautiful, everything is interesting. Love and passion are the key to life, open your heart to everyone and everything, then and only then will you truly see. Just try it ya big scared baby! I love you and send you big hugs.
Mindovermary
Wow! Mindovermary may be the one that is blind! Love and passion are not the key to MY life and maybe not to yours either. I am shooting for honesty and gratitude. I do not perceive you as scared at all.
Why are people always trying to "fix" you, MCARP?
Further, life is not always "beautiful". It is a complicated, ugly thing sometimes. I saw a little 10-year old boy yesterday at the mall. Cute kid - with one arm. Yeah, maybe he'll do great (I hope so) but I don't think he would agree that "opening your heart" to everyone is the answer. Hitler would not have been a great person to "open your heart to".
Reality is still the only place to get a good steak (Woody Allen) but it is also filled with little one-armed kids, unnecessary conflict and sadness. A "big baby" you are not.
appropos of nothing, I thought you'd be interested in this:
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/the-3-grades-of-thinking/
blogblah
Okay Anonymous, be bitter and depressed. It's obviously working for you and so much better for the doctors who make money off your perscriptions and therapy. Why should you or anyone else enjoy life? You're right, happiness is bullshit and life sucks.
Where's the gun?!
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