I've written before about what I have called our 'entertainment economy,' by which I mean that our economy is driven not so much by information, as pundits like to say, as by entertainment, as evidenced by the amount of money we pay athletes and actors and what we pay for entertainment services and appliances. We have a need to constantly be receiving 'junk data,' which is to say data that is trivial enough that we can expose ourselves to it somewhat casually and not worry about missing part or most of it. We just need a steady flow to distract us from the essential emptiness of our lives – white noise and white light to keep us from really hearing and seeing.
One thing I don't do well is sit quietly. I can do fine, and have done fine, without ever seeing Dancing With the Stars or even an episode of The Sopranos or whatever is the current darling of TV critics. The last movie I saw was An Inconvenient Truth. But sitting and killing time with friends and acquaintances is my substitute for spending money on movies and cable TV. As far as just sitting at the wall, my mind clear of discursive thoughts – I actually find that more difficult now than I did when I first started meditation practice. At this point, it would be misleading to say I have a meditation practice at all.
So, coming back to the restlessness: I feel this need, or maybe addiction to having somethin' goin' on. But I don't know what, because almost everything bores me.
Even this fails to capture my attention or imagination.
I got into a heated discussion a few weeks ago about whether it was possible to have parallel universes or whether there can be by definition only one universe, and anything we discovered that we might call a 'parallel universe' would actually be a parallel dimension of that one universe. That's a pretty arcane topic, suitable mostly for quantum physicists and comic book writers, but someone pointed out that it was the first time they'd ever heard me talk about anything with any degree of passion or interest. What made that subject so interesting to me at the time I can't say.
The house is a mess again. I could spend a couple of days cleaning it up, but I can't even get my mind around that – too boring. There are two semi-feral kittens lurking in here. I see them occasionally darting from behind one piece of furniture to underneath another, and that's all. But they're dropping kitten-size turd bombs here and there, and I need to go on catshit safari and track it all down. I may work up enough energy to do that, but I'd rather read or sit at the coffee shop or just sleep.
"How long have the planets been circling the sun? Are they getting anywhere, and do they go faster and faster in order to arrive? How often has the spring returned to the earth? Does it come faster and faster every year, to be sure to be better than last spring and to hurry on its way to the spring that shall outspring all springs?"~Alan Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity
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