The Past

I've been exposed this past week to a collection of thirty-year-old photos from my TV days - including the one posted yesterday.

I'm rather ambivalent about my television career. On the whole, I think I would have been happier if I had just stayed in art and never gone off on the TV track.

I was no howling success. I did a lot of anchoring of weekend and noon newscasts and got fired from as many jobs as I quit. Most of the people with whom I coanchored newscasts went on to bigger and better things while I remained behind.

I was a strong writer, but that was the only strength upon which I could build a career, and as writing became less and less important, it was harder for me to stay relevant.

When an employer optioned out of my contract in 1998, I decided to put TV news behind me, and, as much as was possible, live as if I had never been involved in it. It took a couple of years to completely let go - years in which I hung around on TV 'insider' chat boards and stayed in email contact with some of my former coworkers - but eventually I divorced myself more or less completely from the past.

I get some satisfaction from having people tell me they can't believe I was ever on television, or have people who saw me on television not recognize me today.

But seeing all these pictures makes me wonder if it isn't time to embrace my inner Ron Burgundy. I'm through with television, and it's through with me, but maybe I should quit trying to pretend like it never happened - only to have it surface in my nightmares.