Compassion and crazymakers

Mindovermary reports she has ejected her friend from her home after only four days, rather than the agreed-upon two weeks.

A smart move, I think.

Buddhism exhorts us to be compassionate toward others. I mentioned previously that my idealized, unrealistic perfect female companion would be someone possessing the qualities of Guan Yin, the Chinese representation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion.

Compassion is necessary. But we still have to take care of ourselves - especially, I think, those of us who live alone and who have a limited support network.

Some readers will recognize the story of the fellow who eventually moved out of his own house because a friend he let move in 'temporarily' brought friends and family members to live there, too. That's right... the guy moved out of his own house to get away from the people who took advantage of his considerable compassion.

There are people who are constant psychological and emotional drains. The first time I encountered the term 'crazymakers' was in Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way. There's a blog dedicated to that book's principles and concepts, with a page about crazymakers here.

Crazymakers are those personalities that scream storm centers. They are often charismatic, frequently charming, highly inventive, and powerfully persuasive.
Crazymakers break deals and destroy schedules.
Crazymakers expect special treatment.
Crazymakers discount your reality.
Crazymakers spend your time and money.
Crazymakers triangulate those they deal with.
Crazymakers are expert blamers.
Crazymakers create dramas but seldom where they belong.
Crazymakers hate schedules except their own.
Crazymakers hate order.

(I notice, of course, that I fit some of those descriptions. I'm adept at discounting other people's realities, and while I wouldn't say I hate order, I don't exactly embrace it, either.)

I personally am big on avoiding crazymakers. I can usually just get up and walk away. Maybe if I were big 'E' Enlightened, I could deal with people like this and raise them to some higher level of awareness. But I am a flawed vessel living in a house full of junk and pet hair; it's too much of a struggle to keep my own sanity without trying to 'fix' crazymakers as well.

As Melvin Udall said in As Good As It Gets, "Go sell crazy someplace else – we're all stocked up here."

(And here's the official web site for The Artist's Way. I think this book and its companion books stay in print pretty much continuously; you could probably find it in any major bookstore, if you're interested.)