About ten years ago, I found myself at a point where I felt I had nothing left for which to live. Looking back on it, I can see I was basically right: I didn't have anything to live for.
The choice I made then, although I didn't have it clearly delineated in my mind, was to simply live, rather than seek to live for something.
If my makeup in 1999 had absolutely required me to live for something - some external goal or cause or person - I guess I would have jumped off a window ledge, because I had absolutely nothing of that sort left. (Well, I had Beasley the cat, and he certainly counted for something.)
If you have to believe life has meaning, what do you do if that meaning is taken away? There's nothing you can have in this world that can't be taken away from you. (Except your delusions, which may help explain why some people cling so tenaciously to creationism and other myths. Maybe they feel like that's all they've got.)
I haven't acheived perfection in this business of simply living. I'm attached to my house and new garage. I always become attached to the animals around the house.
If there's anything in this life you worry about losing, I think you're living for something instead of living.
11 comments:
i call bullshit... on the attachment issue... but then... i've experienced first hand... the moments of panic...
for example...the yellowed q-tips that had been on your front porch for 2 years...when you saw them in the trash...you completely freaked... your voice rasied... when asking me..."why did you throw these away...they are perfectly good" oh and the empty cat food bag. mysteriously disappearing from your front porch..
as long as i am there...i will help you keep everything clean... not to worry... i must admit...it is shaping up quite nicely...
As I said, I'm not perfect in my detachment.
Those were perfectly good Q-Tips.
I think you're confused on the attachment issue. We humans are instinctively made up to become attached to other humans. It's survival both mentally and physically to form attachments in order to live. Having attachments to "things" isn't necessary, but attachments to people is. Not having attachments to people will drive you to insanity, if you aren't already there.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing, MCARP.
Mindovermary
Jesus said, "Whenever two or more or you are gathered in my name, I will be with you." Or something like that. The assumption there, of course, is that people will gather.
The sangha, roughly analogous to the church, is one of the 'three gems' of Buddhism. The Buddha also expected people to gather for mutual support.
That's not the same as being attached to another person. Attachment may be less problematic for some people than others - it seems to work better for the very rich and the very beautiful, for example, than for average folks - but attachment is still a form of craziness. The fact that some people get away with craziness more readily than others doesn't make it any less crazy.
I have had a few attachment experiences, and none of them lead me to think there is anything good about it.
Ha! Like it or not, you are attached to people and you wouldn't have it any other way. Your life would be sad and lonely if you didn't have the attachments you have with Kelly and the others. You need them and they need you. Nothing wrong with that.
When I come back to OKC, we'll argue this point all you want but you'll never convince me that you don't need attachments to people.
Don't confuse falling "in love" with loving. There's a big difference, my friend.
Mindovermary
I want to clarify something about these Q-Tips. Kelley described them as 'yellowed,' as if they were crusted with old earwax or something. These were all-new, still-in-the-box Q-Tips. Not a big thing, I know, but I'm just saying.
It all sounds 100% like a long whopping depression and it all sounds like you need a really good therapist.
But then again, if you are "happy"..
yes you are perfect in your detachment... perfectly attached...!!!
mike they were in the package i will give you that...however the package was open...they were yellowed and dirty from being outside for 2 years...but then again...your idea of cleanliness is far from the average joe... in my 51 years i've only been in two houses with cat and or dog shit everywhere...one when i was 13 where i did summer babysitting and yours... i've been in a lot of homes too... hundreds of homes..!!!
Well written mcarp. I do not agree on every point although you have certainly given me something to think about.
hmm. That's sad.
We all need something to live for and we all need attachments. Attachments not in the sense of depending on them, but living for their good... Not "living for them" (cos that's less healthy than just living for yourself), but "living for them", you know? :)
Detachment is not the answer. At least not for me. neither defeatism...
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