The end of the world - again.

I watched the online trailer for the upcoming Roland Emmerich film '2012' the other day. I guess this same trailer is showing in theaters. If you haven't seen it, the gist is that the so-called 'Mayan 2012 prophecy' comes true, and civilization collapses. The Yellowstone caldera erupts. The giant Christ the Redeemer statue crumbles and falls as Rio de Janeiro burns below. St. Peter's Basilica collapses, sending its dome rolling out into Vatican Square. A city which I assume is Los Angeles slides into the sea. Oliver Platt hisses about ensuring 'the continuation of our thpeeeeetheeeees.' Air Force One is swallowed up by a tidal wave. A Buddhist monastery in the Himalayas is washed away by the crashing waves.

And this is just the trailer - which concludes with a tsunami coming up the Potomac River and dropping an aircraft carrier on the White House.

It's a phenomenal trailer, with only a couple of shots that are obviously CG effects.

But, boy am I worn out with these disaster films that are strings of shots of landmarks being destroyed by tidal waves, meteors, aliens, giant mutants, global warming, global cooling, dinosaurs, whatever.

It seems to me we've reached a point where these movies are just a kind of 'disaster porn,' with each movie trying to top the one before it. Millions die, and it's good for a five second shot before we go to the next shot, where millions more die. There's so much death and destruction it becomes impossible to assimilate. On the one hand, I'm fascinated by the awful spectacle of it, but on the other hand, I can't bring myself to actually care about it.

And I don't think I'll spend time and money on something that depressing.

Sartorial error

I trimmed my beard back to a very small goatee this week. It's The least amount of beard I've had, short of being clean shaven.

Big mistake.

Sometime during the 11 years I've had a beard, my chin and neck lost their battle with my jowls. My face now looks like a huge thumb sticking out of my shirt collar.

Monday

Nothing to report.

Update

Pleased to report that the thing with my jaw has improved a lot. It hasn't gone away completely, but it's much better than it was Friday and Saturday.

What's wrong now?!

I've been having this weird thing going on with my right jaw the past few days. It hurts when I open or close my mouth, and I can feel a kind of popping. But this discomfort subsides.

For example, when I eat, the first few bites are uncomfortable, but after that, it's pretty normal. Then, if I eat something else an hour later, or even yawn, it hurts again.

There doesn't seem to be any swelling anywhere.

I hate this kind of stuff, because I don't like going to doctors or dentists, but I also worry about it being some awful terminal condition.

It's always something with me. This is what I mean about my life being complicated. I'll lie awake all night worrying about this.

Too much

I know that from outward appearances, the biggest issue I face in life is which side of the bed to get up on every morning. But in fact, I have about as many personal things to take care of as I ever did, and although it's not much, it's more than I want to deal with.

Doctor appointments, vet appointments, tax issues all overwhelm me. I can't get myself motivated to take care of them.

I am too lazy and undisciplined to be a monk, but I certainly like the idea of being in that environment. Of course, I'd have to be around a bunch of other monks, and that would make me crazy.

Self and non-self

I'm having some second thoughts about the whole non-self thing, which is a central tenet of Buddhism. Mostly, I'm wondering what difference it makes. It appears to me that people who don't believe in a self live their daily lives about the same way as people who do believe in a self. The non-self still has to eat, sleep, shit and everything else the self has to do.

I've read some of the scientific 'evidence' supporting non-self, and it's about as sketchy as the 'evidence' for creationism.

I'm just not sure what difference it makes.

Another dream

Last night's disaster dream involved a nuclear explosion. I don't remember much about it. I was in a place that was safe from the blast, but I wasn't sure I would survive the fallout. I saw an animal vaporized by the blast... then I woke up.

Current music

I found this widget on last.fm that can show what music I'm listening to in more or less real time. It shows the music playing at the time you're reading the blog.

http://www.last.fm

Dog day off

I suggested to Ms. HRP that we expand the flower bed in the front yard, and presto! it's done. I should post pictures, and maybe I will.

Bailey is at her house tonight, and I am welcoming a peaceful, quiet evening. Bailey, meanwhile, gets to romp in Kelley's spacious back yard with Kelley's dog.

Twice in the past ten days I have had nightmares in which I was threatened by an approaching tornado. I started having these dreams while I was living in Texas. At first they seemed to come whenever I was struggling with an important life decision. But no such decision looms at the moment.

The Very Dark Room

I'm not in the Very Dark Room right now, but I wish I were.

Saturday Morning

It was nice to wake up to overcast skies for Bailey's morning walk. I get depressed if it stays cloudy over several days, but two or three cloudy days a week would always be welcome.

Friday

I spent a large part of Friday watching Ms. HRP turning over earth to expand the front yard flower bed. I continue to be amazed at how much energy she has. The work she did this morning would have taken me at least a weekend.

I am reading some books by the 20th century English philosopher who used the pseudonym Wei Wu Wei. I'm finding it pretty dry going. I'll report back if I find any gems of wisdom.

Thought about doing the Paseo Gallery Walk, but didn't have the energy. I stayed home instead.

You never know what's going to catch my attention

You may recall that Tom Selleck was originally cast as Indiana Jones.

Overwhelmed

The yellow kitten died last night. The good news is that the other two kittens - one black, one black and white - are in very good shape.

I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed again by the number of living things in my life: Ms. HRP, my ex, two kittens and their mom, Rollo and Bailey were all in or around the house yesterday. That's more company than I can handle. Bailey has to be the center of attention or she gets jealous and barks or pees on the floor.

Things will be quieter today.

Wednesday

As I expected after last evening's weedeating adventure, I spent all of last night and pretty much all of today feeling like my head was full of wet mud. I dragged around all day - slow even by my lethargic standard. I got almost no sleep last night, and dozed only a little this morning.

Ms. HRP came by to clean off my front porch and my ex came by to clean the bathroom. For me, watching someone clean is like watching someone dance ballet or perform gymnastics: I understand intellectually what is happening, but I can't duplicate it myself. Ms. HRP moves about in a flurry of activity, and the porch is magically clean. I move about in a flurry of activity, and nothing changes.

The plumbers were here, too, working on the garage. I'm going to move the washer and dryer out there, as I've probably mentioned before, and we're going to get a small 'instant on' hot water tank. I wash almost everything in cold water, so I don't expect the tank to use much energy.

Tuesday

Bailey started barking about 1 am and kept it up for about a half hour. She was in her crate, and I refused to acknowledge her. She eventually calmed down and went to sleep.

We did the morning walk about seven, then I went to the Egg for breakfast. Came home, went back to bed, and slept soundly until 11:30.

Woke up, went to KFC for lunch, then took Bailey for her midday walk and dosed the kittens with antibiotics.

Two of the kittens are doing very well, but the third seems to be failing. She appears to have stopped nursing, so I went to PetsMart and got some powdered kitten formula, and am feeding her myself.

Took an afternoon nap, then went in the back yard and ran the weedeater in a hard-to-mow space between the fence and the house. I'll probably spend the night in allergy hell for that.

The electrician returned to work on the garage today, but there still appears to be a lot left to be done. I didn't realize it would be this complicated.

I still have a touch of cold symptoms, but I'm not as bad as I expected to be.

In other news at this hour...

Up this morning at just a few minutes after 5 am, as her royal highness decreed a walk was necessary. I don't mind getting up that early for her, except that if I go back to bed afterward, she'll want another walk around 7. I never had a dog that needed to go out as often as this one. Her bladder must be the size of a thimble.

More wiring on the garage this morning. Then the plumber arrived and discovered the master panel or whatever it's called has been installed exactly opposite the shower. The shower connection and the wiring would be only a fraction of an inch apart. So they'll have to confer about the propriety of that arrangement.

Ms. HRP came over and weeded the front flower beds. She also pruned back some of the plants - something I would not have been able to do myself - and the front of the house looks much better. She said I seem to have gotten several seasons of growth in just one year, so these beds look like they've been here for years.

She also provides a certain amount of yang to my yin, which is also helpful.

I've been coughing the past couple of days. I had attributed that to allergies, but today I got that ticklish feeling in the roof of my mouth that often presages a cold. And tonight I have some minor body aches that are a little flu-like.

Blogblah!, I will make every effort not to die before we can meet. Of course, I may have infected you this morning. I wasn't feeling ill when we were talking - I didn't know anything was wrong.

I've been up since 5 and I had one snooze of maybe ten minutes, so I'm out for now.

When she said 'retired', I didn't realize she meant 'nuked.'

"Hi, Nina/Christina... it's me, God. Thought I might catch you at home. Just wanted to let you know how disappointed I was to find that you'd wiped your blog, Flibbertigibettibibbitybobbityboo.

"Even though I already knew all the stuff you were writing about - eye on the sparrow, and all - it was still amusing to read your take on it.

"I saw from your final post that you're doing Facebook now. Guess I'll have to look into that... I'm still just on myspace.

"Anyway, give me a call when you get this. Or text me.

"Ciaio."