I've broken a promise to myself with these posts. I had made a commitment not to bring this matter up on the blog again for a considerable length of time, but here I am writing about it again.
I want to reiterate the point is moot. There may still be some part of me that wants romance in my life, but the reasoning part of me says my interests are unrealistic to the point of being fantasy, and the spiritual part of me says peace and serenity can me found only on a path leading in another direction.
But since we're talking about fantasy, let's go ahead and fantasize a little. I'm thinking of someone whose interests and thoughts are rarely focused on the so-called 'real world.' That doesn't necessarily mean new age or UFO stuff, since I'm skeptical about both, but it does mean her awareness extends beyond the usual local cultural realm of OU football, American Idol and celebrity gossip, and she's not at all emotionally or intellectually plugged in to that stuff.
Most of the daily stuff going on around her doesn't ruffle her. In fact, she's pretty much imperturbable. She sees phenomena for what they are.
Emotionally, she's pretty low-key. She's never really angry or indignant, nor is she ever enthusiastically cheerful.
She doesn't talk much.
She's a lot like me, in short, only not as grumpy or cynical.
She's looking for a spiritual companion more than someone who fits the conventional description of 'boyfriend.'
She likes animals and kids.
She has about her the aspect of the Bodhisattva of Compassion, although she may not be a fully enlightened person. She's nominally a Buddhist or Taoist, although she may not be a rigorous adherent to forms of practice.
She's a creative person.
I guess that's pretty much the list.
But again, this is just an unproductive fantasy, not an actual goal. The peace I seek will have to be found within me. No one else can bring it to me.
2 comments:
Myself, I'm looking for a billionaire supermodel with a Ph.D. to emerge from the dust and wind of NW OKC onto the Paseo, where she will instantly fall in love with me and whisk me away to a sybaritic life of baccarat at Monte Carlo and sunning myself on the teak deck of her yacht off some unnamed Greek isle.
But isn't the salient question the type of woman we attract as we now present ourselves? If you want that gauzy and ethereal dame, what kind of man attracts such a woman?
I look at myself and say a billionaire is not going to be attracted to me now or ever. A supermodel is unlikely to be interested in a broken down old man of advanced age such as myself. Perhaps a Ph.D. would, but I've dated a few and it ain't all it's cracked up to be. They tend to be pedantic, oddly enough.
Where does that leave me?
Confucius said not to worry about recognition, but instead to strive be worthy of recognition.
I wonder if I could staunch the flow of jealousy as other men fawned over my supermodel. I wonder if I could stand her know-it-all attitude for very long. I wonder how my ego would hold up if I had to ask for pocket money at every port along our Mediterranean way.
I'd best be worried that I'll get what I ask for.
What would things REALLY be like if you found your gauzy and ethereal girl? What would she want from you? How would that change things?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life, an admittedly shortened time at your advanced age according to one of your recent posts, remembering to put down the toilet seat every time you go to the bathroom?
Ah, but isn't the human heart the joker in the deck? It's why I aspire to write a novel some day.
john
I bet there's a woman who has the personality you're looking for...well, somewhere.
I think most of us want a spiritual companion/connection of some sort. However, in my opinion, very few want to invest the time or the effort. Things should somehow magically fall into place or ‘just happen’. Partners are automatically dismissed for all sorts of trivial things.
Trouble and desire, man. Trouble and desire.
tabacksk
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