Y'know, I don't even have much enthusiasm for self-pity anymore, which is kind of a first.
Nothing cheers me up and nothing seriously upsets me.
I've been reading a book called Lieh Tzu: A Practical Guide to Taoist Living, translated by Eva Wong. (I haven't finished the Scots history book, but I will eventually.)
In the introduction, Wong discusses how at various times in ancient China, it was safer to extricate oneself from 'the system,' with all its political intrigues, and live both physically and philosophically 'off the grid.' This is a theme other modern Taoist translators and commentators have expressed.
I don't feel like I'm in any physical danger, but I do feel like I've been in the whirlwind of craziness at various times in my life, and I'm glad to be out. Moreover, I'm glad to find some philosophical support for my decision to drop out.
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