Almost all I have done since returning from Santa Fe is sleep and eat. It's been cold and gloomy here, more like late fall than early spring, and that has encouraged drowsiness.
I get up in the morning, go somewhere for breakfast, then come home and go back to bed. Later, I'll go to lunch, then return to bed. I'm not sleeping well at night, but then I never do.
I guess some people get genuine joy out of being alive. I'm not one of them, and never have been. I'm not miserable — I'm not even unhappy. I'm not anything. I see myself as a sort of disconnected observer of a quickly eroding society and culture. I guess 'alienated' would be the word. I feel as if I got dropped off here by mistake, but I'm stuck in any event.
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