First of all, the Hobson's choice: face the dreary and exhausting task of going up to Target this evening to buy a new electric toothbrush, or face the dreary and exhausting task of brushing with a manual toothbrush tonight and tomorrow morning?
Do I even have a manual toothbrush?
Then there's the 'pre-cleaning' thing. Kat is coming over Saturday (and Sunday, if Saturday doesn't drive her over the edge) to start cleaning, and I need to do some 'pre-cleaning' cleaning to prep. But I don't know where to start.
If you were cleaning my house, which would you least like to deal with?
Dried cat vomit.
Wet cat vomit.
Dirty socks.
Dirty underwear.
Anything with mildew.
An old divorce decree and other legal documents the cat peed on.
Litter boxes.
I should get one of those online polling programs so we can tabulate votes.
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5 comments:
hmmm, Kat has just read the list and is not too sure about the cat vomit, hmmmm you might start there first!
PS...pick one day either Sat or Sun!
RJ
Or hey, get someone to give you a sample of some motivating meds (strattera, adderall or the like) and do it yourself. Maybe not a great thing to recommend so please no lectures but here is my experience: I am depressed, like the "do I put my head in the oven or go ahead and go to work" type of depressed. I had let my stuff pile up for months if not years. It was the kind of mess that would give me nightmares of friends showing up to visit my home unannounced. 20 mg of Adderall XR from a co-worker and 12 hours later, my stuff was really pared down and organized. And I even cleaned out my car. Maybe not a solution for all but if you are in a deep fog and don't have someone you can ask for help. . .
Three tarps (Mctarps), spread out in your back yard.
All shit in your house, placed on one of the three tarps.
Tarp one: Shit you MUST keep.
Tarp two: Shit you WILL throw out.
Tarp three: Shit you're unsure of.
Tarp two--and, surprise, tarp three---shit to be thrown the fuck OUT, forever. No Ebay, no giving it away, nothing. In the trash!
A toothbrush with a motor. Who woulda thunk of such a thing? I have an "arm" and grasp my brush in my "hand." Through "neuromuscular coordination" the hand moves back and forth, up and down, assisted when neccesary by the arm. This method also works for lots of other things besides brushing the teeth. To learn more, order my DVD.
Worst comes to worst, hire midgets to do your cleanin' and brushin' for you. They're in your house anyhow, hiding, watching you. Might as well hire 'em.
'Arm', 'hand' – good grief. How 'old paradigm.'
Just checking in to make sure you are still with the living. I don't have to worry now. I see you still have cat vomit, cat pee and cat shit. Sounds like everything is normal.
Smoochies.
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