I am in what I hope are the final hours of a weekend barf-fest that began about 5 a.m. Saturday, stayed in full swing through early Sunday evening, and is only now petering out in a random string of occasional urps, borps, gacks, and whaaagghs.
My eyes are bloodshot and bruised; I'm dehydrated, weak and tired. I have a muscle spasm in my upper chest that occasionally induces even more purging reflex.
I assume I am settling a karmic debt incurred by my mockery of the barf-related suffering of other sentient beings.
But you know what I found out?
Barfing can focus your mind. When you are sprinting to the bathroom with a mouth full of suddenly-upchucked whatever, you're not thinking about your job or your love life or Bush and Cheney or anything except getting your face over the toilet.
And when your face is over the toilet, and you've retched and retched and you don't know whether you're going to retch again –– or whether you want to retch again because it might give you ten minutes' more rest before the next time you sprint to the bathroom with a mouth full of barf, all you are focused on is the present moment. What's that little tickling in my stomach? Am I going to barf again? Or will it just be some insignificant hurrp that yields nothing?
You want to know what your original face was before your parents were born? It's that face hovering over the toilet, wondering if that next upchuck is going to be the nasty stuff or just more saliva.
Fortunately, soartstar came to my rescue with a care package of Gatorade, bananas and other barf-mitigating treats.
4 comments:
What is the sound of one man urping?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, I hope you are feeling better and can turn your considerable writing talents to a happier subject.
ouch! food poisoning?? or viral?
Take care and get better fast!
I'd rather be dead than nauseated. Then again, I'd rather be dead than inconvenienced. Original face may be dead face, I dunno.
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