"Oh, My. It's As Superficial As I Feared"

That's what my friend said when I showed her the pictures of what a relationship should be like. This is the same friend with whom I was discussing relationshiponal phenomena a couple of days ago.

"Well," I explained, "I'm not saying I literally want to date a twenty-something Stevie Nicks. I'm just saying she's sort of an archetype."

"Oh," my friend said. "I bet Joseph Campbell would love to hear that. Even if you did date someone like that, where would she wave all that stuff around? There's no room in your house for it."

"In the back yard, maybe. I don't know. We can work that out when the time comes."

Look, I know this is just fantasy. The time is never going to come. But I don't want or need a relationship that's just plodding along, going to the mall, unclogging the dishwasher, wandering around Lowe's, whatever. I can do that by myself. I would rather be alone.

Also:

Laraine Newman!

Just an archetype, of course.