Sunday, December 31, 2006

More thoughts on being older than dirt

I would like to say that at this stage in my life I have at least a smattering of transcendental wisdom. But I'm still basically a dumbass. I'm not sure I know anything.

I would like to tell you that I'm a trove of wisdom – a sort of zen Mary Worth who can unravel life's knotty problems. But that's just ego whispering in my ear. I actually don't know jack. But then again, I'm not sure there's any jack to know.

When I bought my space age miracle foam Tibetan meditation cushion, they sent me a complementary coffee cup which says on the side: 'Wake Up!'

'Wake Up!' as in fill up with caffeine, and 'Wake Up!' as in satori experience.

Am I awake, or merely aware in my sleep that there is such a thing as being awake?

If I was awake, I suspect, I wouldn't posting questions to myself here. I wouldn't even be blogging. I'd be sitting under a tree on my weekends, wearing a beatific smile and watching birds fly. Or I would be chopping wood and carrying water. Instead, I sort of spin my wheels right here – in part, frankly, as an alternative doing all the mundane stuff I should be doing, like cleaning out my car and doing laundry.

1 comment:

Lark said...

Have you read any of Natalie Goldberg's books on writing? Two best known are probably "Writing Down the Bones" and "Wild Mind." She studied a lot with a Zen teacher, and did a LOT of very serious meditation, and in the end decided, with her teacher's agreement, that her writing was her practice.

Maybe yours is too.