Saturday, December 03, 2011

Hail, Fredonia

So when I was having my mildly manic episode and was talking about dating again, at least three different people suggested, "Why don't you ask out/hook up with Fredonia?"

'Fredonia', is, of course, a pseudonym I have employed to avoid embarrassing anyone besides myself.

'Fredonia' is a woman whom I find so obnoxious, so brassy, so self-absorbed, so completely prone to monopolizing conversations that I have actually gotten up and left the room when she has entered.

I can imagine only two reasons why anyone would suggest a mcarp/Fredonia union: either they think we're equally obnoxious, and therefore might cancel each other out or achieve some sort of obnoxiousness synergy; or they think she's so desperate to get laid she might even give a big slab of lard like me a chance.

Either way, it's not going to happen. There are some things worse than being alone, and that would definitely be one of them.

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