Sunday, December 04, 2011

Profile vs person

When I was doing the online dating thing, the first woman who piqued my interest was a woman who called herself 'Okieleftgirl' or something similar. I wrote something about her here.

Her profile was very close to what I would have written myself, if I could have written a profile for a woman I wanted to meet.

I winked at her, but she didn't respond. I sent her a follow-up email, and she didn't respond. Of course, that made her all the more intriguing, but I let it go after that.

She walked into the coffee shop this morning. I don't think she noticed me there, and I certainly didn't try to talk to her.

But I was struck by how different she seemed in person. In fact, it took me a couple of minutes to make the connection. Her hipsterish son, who appears in one of her profile photos, was with her. If he hadn't been there, I don't think I would have realized she was the same person.

First of all she was quite a bit shorter than I had imagined her. Secondly, she appeared older. I don't think she had deliberately used old photos in her profile; I know from my own experience that even current photos can present a misleading image.

But the main difference was that she seemed so uptight. Her posture and body language were very rigid. She seemed to have her teeth clenched whenever she talked. She looked like someone who has a very hard time relaxing, which means that she and I would have a hard time finding common ground. She looked utterly humorless.

So, I can let that fantasy image go now.

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