Compassion

Compassion is one of the cornerstones of Buddhism. But I have to say that I'm short on compassion for people with drinking problems. And the reason is clear to me: alcoholism was a key element of my upbringing, with me being the 'bad guy' because I could never do enough to accommodate or enable my parents' drinking.

Every encounter I have with someone who's drunk reminds me of that. Every encounter with someone who's drunk reminds me that somewhere there's another person who's being victimized by the 'fun-loving' person I see. Maybe it's a spouse. Maybe it's a child. Maybe it's a parent. Maybe it's a friend or coworker. But somewhere, someone else is taking up the slack while the party animal 'relaxes' or 'has some fun.' I have more compassion for those people than the alcoholic.

I have friends who are in the program. I dated a woman who was in the program and she was one of the most perceptive and enlightened people I've known. If I were dating now, I think I would rather date someone seriously working the program than someone who'd never been alcoholic, because it seems to me that AA opens people's eyes to more than just their own alcohol-related stuff.

But someone who's still drunk all the time? I have tried to get used to it, but drunks - even friendly, jovial drunks - just creep me out.