Flashback

I got a phone call late yesterday evening (by late, I mean 9-ish... that's late for me) from a friend who, along with a couple of acquaintances, had gotten stranded at a gathering. I went to where they were to take them home.

As they got in the car, it was pretty obvious they were drunk or well on the way to being drunk. They'd hit a bar or two before arriving at their current location.

I was the only cold sober person in the vehicle.

I had a flashback of sorts to childhood. It was rather unsettling, and continued to bother me today.

My parents, as I think I've mentioned before, were both alcoholics. My mother was especially 'fun-loving,' to use my family's preferred euphemism for being a shit-faced, falling-down, weekend-in-the-drunk-tank boozer. Not only were my parents 'fun-loving,' but all of their friends were 'fun-loving' as well. So it was not unusual during my childhood to be in a lurching, weaving car or station wagon with four or five other people and be the only one who wasn't giggling, slobbering drunk. Sometimes there'd be another kid in the car, too, but usually it was just me.

At least last night I had control of the wheel. As a child I often had to take my chances with the driving skills of someone who had barely been able to walk to the car, and disapproving glares from my 'fun-loving' parents if I wasn't being a good sport about it. I would sit quietly, feeling helpless and frightened, and wonder if we were going to have a wreck or die — sometimes hoping we'd get pulled over so someone would get me the hell out of there.

I don't like being around people who are drunk. I'm only slightly more comfortable with people who are sober but are only interested in talking about what they did the last time they were drunk — perhaps just hours earlier. If someone starts a sentence with, "Jesus, I was so wasted last night..." I'm probably going to tune out the rest of it.

If it seems to you that I'm not 'fun-loving,' keep in mind I've been around shitloads of 'fun-loving' already, and that was plenty, thank you.