Not feeling very Buddhist

Y'know, I haven't been feeling very Buddhist lately, though I'm not sure what the phrase 'feeling very Buddhist' means.

I know that a year ago, I had a different sense of it. I was still immersed in the sutras and the writings of Ajahn Chah, Suzuki, Seung Sahn and others. I was still trying to meditate with some regularity. Lately, though, I've been immersed in fixing up the yard and reading the history of the Russian revolution. I haven't been absolutely obsessed with the election, but I have paid some attention to it.

I have a well-worn volume of Taoist masters that I used to read every night just the way some people read the Bible before going to bed. But I haven't looked at it in months. In fact, I don't know where it is.

I used to go to Sauced in the afternoon and sit quietly by myself for awhile with a glass of ice water or maybe a mimosa. I really looked forward to having that time on the almost-empty patio along about 1 pm. Now, Sauced doesn't open until 4 so I'm likely to be sitting at home or at the Red Cup.

My life is still pretty damn close to perfect - but it seems like it was a little closer still just a year ago.

Perhaps I am just attached to some notion of how a Buddhist ought to feel.