What I'm Talking About Is Being Used

From Mind Over Mary:

MCARP doesn't trust women. He thinks he wants a Stevie Nicks type girl who is into mystical, spiritual stuff and who will be completely honest with him. My girls want men who are like the guys in romance novels and will be completely honest with them.

How many times do I have to say it? NO ONE wants complete honesty. We all want to be lied to and we all want the guy or girl who is lying to be good enough at it not to get caught.

There are no perfect men or women, but there are specific types of people each individual is attracted to. I get that. I also get that the one person who decides whether they will be in a happy relationship is the person looking at you in the mirror.

If you're trying to figure out why you can't find the perfect guy or girl, take a good look at you. Blaming the entire population of guys or girls for not being able to find someone is silly. It's all about you.

I'm not sure what to say about this. I have never thought much about the 'complete honesty' thing. All I was saying in my previous posts was that I was annoyed by women who approached me, initiated the contact, told me they were interested, only to reveal – usually in a matter of a couple of days – that they weren't interested at all, and that sometimes they actually mildly disliked me. I can't come up with any rational reason why that would happen.

Let me recall another example. A few years ago, I was sitting on the patio of a local restaurant. There was a woman sitting at a nearby table with whom I was passing acquainted. While she was sitting there, a fairly good-looking guy in motorcycle leathers was aggressively flirting with her, and she was mostly ignoring him.

Another woman, much younger than any of us – a teenager, in fact – walked by and struck up a conversation with the motorcyclist. This conversation culminated in him loading her on the back of his motorcycle and taking her for a ride around the neighborhood.

The other woman, who to this point had been all but ignoring him, became suddenly incensed that he had ridden off with a much younger woman in tow. She came over and sat down beside me. She was obviously drunk. "You know," she slurred, "I happen to think you're a very handsome man."

Well, that was an interesting turn of events. Because in the weeks and months preceding this conversation, I had appeared to be a very invisible man, at least to her. That wasn't something I had worried myself over – I'm a pretty average-looking guy, and women look right through me all the time. But now, here she was, almost a stranger, practically sitting in my lap and telling me how hot I was – because some other guy she actually didn't give a damn about had 'snubbed' her, in her mind, for someone younger.

Obviously she didn't give a shit about me, either. I just happened to be the closest guy at the moment, and I guess she thought the motorcyclist would be in a jealous rage when he came back and saw her sitting with me.

This is not
me, dammit.

She was yanking both our chains at once in some bizarre effort to bolster her own ego.

So, no, I don't trust women, at least not in matters like this. I have the Everlast logo on my forehead that says I'm just a chunky, good-natured punching bag for all kinds of female issues, and I don't know how to turn that sign off. Every time I try, everyone whines I'm being 'mean'.

Mind Over Mary says if you can't find romance, you should look at yourself. I agree. I don't blame other people for that, and I don't blame myself. It's just how things are.

But what I'm talking about right now isn't finding or not finding romance. What I'm talking about is being used. I don't like it, and I don't feel like I have some moral obligation to endure it.