Sometimes it sucks being alone. Not all the time, or even most of the time, but sometimes. And lately – like the last four weeks or so – it seems a little suckier than usual.
I can't tell you how many hours I have devoted to pondering how I ended up pretty much romance-proof. I can guarantee it's been thousands, over the years. Eventually, I got tired of having the same conversation with myself over and over, and I mostly put it aside.
The zen thing to do with this right now is to note it – 'hmm, I seem to be noticing and feeling loneliness (and/or horniness) a little more than usual' – and then let it go. That's what I'm trying to do.
It just now occurred to me that this seemed to coincide with the shutting off of the perpetual background music. I didn't turn it off on purpose; the computer stopped playing because of a software update notification or something similar, and I never bothered to turn it on again.
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