It's All Tits And Ass From Here On Out

A few months ago, I noticed a young woman with an awkward, sort of stiff gait crossing the street. I remarked to the woman who was with me that she had the stride of a gymnast or swimmer.

My friend's lower lip started to quiver, so I asked her what was wrong. I got about five minutes of weepy argle bargle about the marginalization of women above a certain age, and something about patriarchy, and something and something.

I hadn't commented at all on this young lady's attractiveness or lack thereof. But by merely noticing her long, stiff-kneed walk, I had oppressed and undermined women everywhere.

My mother, as I mentioned in previous posts, was 'way ahead of the curve on this stuff. As early as about 1967, she was lecturing about weak, irresponsible men — which included, presumably, all the ones she was fucking. I was taught that I was, simply by virtue of my gender, both guilty and impossibly, irredeemably weak, and that the best I could hope for was the opportunity to clean house and do dishes for some woman who was intrinsically better than I could ever hope to be.

As a result of that upbringing, I was bending over backwards to avoid objectifying women long before the term 'objectifying' came into currency. From adolescence through my late forties, I wouldn't even compliment a woman on her clothing, because that would mean having some inappropriate awareness of her gender, appearance and, perhaps, her sexuality.

Even so, I seem to be objectifying women by simply taking note that they're ambulatory. So, once again, fuck it — I'm done. It's all tits and ass from here on out, folks.