Another OKCupid story

I wrote a fairly straightforward profile for match.com, which I then copied over to plentyoffish and OKCupid.

It began something like:

I'm a retired journalist/artist. I'm something of an introvert. I do well in small groups of a half-dozen or so, but I'm not comfortable in large crowds or big gatherings.

My spiritual beliefs are centered around Buddhism and Taoism, and I'm influenced by teachers such as Huang Po, Seung Sahn and Thich Nhat Hanh. I also am influenced by Taoist masters such Chuangtze, Wentze and the Huinan Masters.

And something and something and something. I've already forgotten the details.

That stayed up for about ten days. No one contacted me, nor did anyone respond to my contacts. Finally, last Saturday, I changed my OKCupid profile to begin as follows:

Let me try a different tack here: I am probably bad news for you.

I am marginally motivated, profoundly non-Christian, eccentric, slightly (or more than slightly) perverted, and not particularly ambitious, at least by any conventional Bible belt definition of the word.

Check my pics. Do I look to you like anybody's "Outstanding Young Professional" - of any year?

I'm a liberal, fiscally and socially. I am neither a homophobe nor a racist.

Now, for the one or two percent of you who are still reading:

And I went on from there.

Three women emailed within 45 minutes. And two more over the next 24 hours.

I changed my plentyoffish profile to begin with

To tell the truth, I am probably nothing but trouble for you.

And sure enough, women began contacting me. I can't even keep track now of who I've answered and who I haven't.

And I just modified my match.com profile to begin with:

Hi... it's me. You remember: the man your mother warned you about?

How have you been?

We'll see how that goes over.