I believe in it, but with the following caveats:
Happiness and misery are different sides of the same coin; as with yin and yang, light and dark, hot and cold, you can't have one without the other. Don't seek one if you don't want the other as well.
It is better –– for some people, at least –– to seek a middle path that embraces neither happiness nor unhappiness. We have that 'reach out for the gusto' attitude in our culture which encourages people to constantly seek happiness (or, more accurately, pleasure) and distraction and entertainment. That road doesn't go anywhere in particular; it just kind of peters out in a field at the edge of town.
There is an ancient taoist parable of the ugly useless tree which survives to old age because its wood has no apparent value while the younger, more attractive trees are cut down for furniture and woodwork. If you are happy, you're like the attractive tree and someone will try to take your happiness just because it's there. We have a government now that thrives on human misery, and blooms like a flower in the desert when death and destruction are all around. I imagine Donald Rumsfeld, for example, viewing peace, calm and happiness with great unease and alarm. He and Dick Cheney are simply more comfortable in a world of war, violence, misery and unrest, and they have the power to create it. The sages also talked about staying the hell out of the way of governments and politicians, which was easier in the sixth century BCE than it is today.
If you are already unhappy or at least neutral, people will leave you alone because you're like the ugly old tree no one wants.
(Of couse, the author of that ugly tree parable never saw an expressway or a planned unit development come through and take out everything, whether it had value or not, simply because unpaved surfaces are an abomination unto the Lord.)
Getting back to this picture for a moment... it's not very flattering, but it is, after all, what I actually look like. This is why a I need a proxy to pretend to be me for public consumption. It's hard to persuade people your ideas are fresh, sexy and exciting when you look like this.
6 comments:
I SO agree that happiness is over-rated.
At best, it lasts a little while and the aftermath is always disappointing.
For some time now, I've sought contentment. It is sustainable and quiet and smooth and very comfortable.
At times, of course, I lose it. I get upset. My "wa" contracts and gets hard and brittle. My "chi" gets charged up and as twisted and branched as summer lightning.
The good thing is that if I've had some contentment, I usually can do a pretty good job of recognizing that my balance is off. Once I do that, I can stop whatever the hell it is that I'm doing -- happy sad mad anxious running around like an idiot -- get centered and get some perspective. With perspective and a return to the "real" me, I can usually solve whatever it is that has me upset and return to contentment.
From here, I can go on at absurd lengths about being in the center of the Tao and how much easier it is to swim with that stream than to try and swim against or at an angle to the Tao.
My main trick of the mind is to ask myself: "how much will this matter a year from now? 5 years? 50 years? 500 years?"
Or, "is this really an emergency? is there anything broken, bleeding or life and death about this situation?"
About 99.999999 percent of the time, I find I'm getting upset about not much other than someone else being upset and emotional.
And the calm waters return.
blogblah!!!
To quote my favorite Buddhist nun:
“Since death is certain and the time of death uncertain, what is the most important thing?”
Maybe, sometimes, it is finding a happy sexy proxy.
I watched jazz musicians on TV.
They enjoy their music and play it brilliantly, but their on-stage behavior might suggest, to those accustomed to rock music, a "flatness" or a "depressed" state.
Jazz musicians don't hop around, gesticulate wildly, or try too hard (if at all) to amp up the emotion level of the audience.
Young people demand constant stimulation of their nerve endings and feel unalive if every emotion isn't about to explode forth, all the time. They have to feel, feel, feel.
Older people can sit on the porch and think, "Hey, this is all right! It does not suck being me!"
You can be happy, like the jazz musicians, just doing your thing quietly and competently. The viewpoints of the observers are completely and utterly irrelevant.
My motto is, if you don't like my affect, then go find someone else to hang around with. Why torture yourself, and me, with unreasonable expectations?
It's OK to be something different than what you were 5 or 10 or 20 years ago. Not only is it OK, I think it's necessary.
If we didn't change, we'd all still be crawling around on the floor, shitting and pissing our pants constantly. Sure, we'd be young, but I'd rather be old and in control of my bladder and bowels. And my emotions.
I've been thoroughly enjoying Against Happiness, a book about not seeking Happiness blindly but instead learning to take solace in your melancholy nature.
Well worth checking out if you're tired of the American 'pursuit of happiness'.
I find happiness in the contentment and fulfillment of myself. For me, happiness isn't an environment, it's not property or materialistic. For me happiness is loving myself and looking around myself, knowing that I am loved and that I love. Take it from someone that sought happiness for 40 year and finally found it...right here inside!
I greatly appreciate sentient beings!
Some believe you have to "hack your own happiness" which is stupid. It depends on what makes you happy and if it is available. The whole idea of happiness being important is ridiculous to me. Happiness doesn't make you smart, it doesn't teach you anything. It is definitely not a pursuit of mine.
It obviously has its benefits-I'm not promoting misery, but too much importance , time, and money are placed/used on happiness.
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