Every so often, someone will encourage me to not be so shut down emotionally... to get out there and take a chance on love, or life, or excitement, or passion, or whatever. Let me show you an artist's conception of how that has worked for me in the past:
As I said in the previous post, my goal is peace, tranquility and stability. Following the teachings of the Buddha, as well as Taoist masters like Wen-Tzu and Chuang-Tzu, and Zen teachers ranging from Hui-Neng to Seung Sahn, seems to work for me.
As I think I've mentioned elsewhere, I didn't have to tear myself away from a life of glamour and romance to do this. What I had to do was make some sense out of the life of an ordinary person of average appearance and tolerable personality who was not going to be able to fulfill his heart's desires and who did not want to anesthetize himself with drugs or home shopping channels.
So when I say I'm being drawn back into the realm of emotions and desires, that's not really correct. I was never there, and I never felt that realm was open to me. It would be more accurate to say that I am being drawn toward some idealized notion of what that realm would be like, even though experience gives the lie to the perception.
A few months ago, a couple of friends quoted Zorba the Greek to me: "To be alive is to undo your belt and look for trouble." The only trouble I would have in that circumstance is that my pants would fall down.
No, I don't want to look for trouble. And I don't want trouble to come to me.
I've said this a half dozen times in the past few months, but I am so damn grateful that my life has reached the stage it's at. I never thought I would be living the life I have now. Why undermine it by going back into crazyworld?
2 comments:
As a Zorba advocate, having your pants fall to the floor beltless is the point, dear boy.
Life is struggle, have you forgotten? To live is to struggle and to struggle is to live.
I do not believe that the Tao is to avoid all struggle. I believe it is to embrace the struggle and simply deal with it well. Yes, it is better to go with the flow than to fight the current; both of those are choices to be in the water and not simply sit on the banks watching others swim by.
Life is a struggle. It's hard enough - at least for me - at the bare minimum (Neil Armstrong or Ted Turner might have a different point of view).
I am never in worse shape psychologically than when I am emotionally caught up in someone or something. Frankly, I'm almost insufferable. Non-attachment isn't just a desirable goal for me - it's almost a necessity.
So I am loath to create new struggles where none need exist.
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