Cat Inventory

So how many cats do I have, anyway?

Depends on how you define have.

Beasley is the senior pet. Had him for eight years. He's mostly indoors although he goes out more in the summer.

I've had Smudge about six years. I got her in San Antonio. She's a full-time indoor cat. Doesn't like other cats. Tolerates the dog and me.

Roscoe, who is currently AWOL, was hanging around the house when I moved in. He actually lives somewhere else, and that's where I assume he is now. I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks.

Lark shows up in the spring, drops a litter of kittens under my porch, then wanders off again. She's done that every summer for four years. I'll see her again in late March or early April.

Baxter and Small Fry are from the first litter she left here. They are both mostly outside cats.

Prajna and Satori are from the third litter. Prajna is a mostly indoor cat; Satori is mostly outdoor.

Midget is from the fourth litter. Most of Lark's offspring are unusually small, but Midget is smallest of them all.

Then there are the cats who don't live here but occasionally drop by. Van Gogh is an incredibly decrepit black Persian with one ear. Tim Russert is a grey tabby with a huge head and no neck who was abandoned by tenants who moved out of a house across the street. Gimp is another beat-up old Persian who walks with a limp in one hind leg. Most of these cats won't let me near them, but they will mooch food if I leave it on the front porch. They live off the kindness of myself and other neighborhood cat people.

Frankie belongs to my next door neighbor, but I think he's pretty much quit taking care of him and sent him over to eat at my place.

Given the mix of schedules and lifestyles, it's impossible to count actual cats. Instead, I measure FTCE's (Full Time Cat Equivalencies) and right now, I figure them at about eight.

No, make that seven.